------I still think of you and wonder about you. You left me for someone because you told me I was boring, and that you didn't seem to trust me. You noted the shadows I have in my eyes. You were right of course, I'm a horrible person. I'm a monster. After all those harsh words I have told you, I wanted to cut off my tongue because I never wanna hurt anyone the way I hurt you. I'm so sorry.
------We met through some friends. I asked you if you wanted to get some coffee with me. You said yes. I never thought you'd say yes so inside my head I was high key freaking out. Wondered if I should pay for your coffee or if we should split instead. We both order the same thing, and caffeine rushed into our veins that afternoon. I couldn't tell if it was me falling in love with you at the time or if it was the coffee.
------You made your own DIY kitty cat costume for the Halloween Party. The last time I dressed up for halloween was when I was in elementary school. I forgot when I stopped and, I forgot why I stopped. Nonetheless, you took your eyeliner pen and held my face. You told me to hold still. I thought you were gonna gouge my eyes out but you drew whiskers on my face instead. I guess thats the moment when I started having feelings for you. It only amplified when you gave me the confidence to dance with you on the dance floor. I wasn't really a dancer until I met you.
------I still have the marigold tie that matched with your dress when we attended the yule ball. I wear it every now and then. Every time I look at the mirror to wrap it around my neck, I'm slightly reminded of you and the short four months we had together four years ago. I thought about discarding it, but orange is my favourite color, so I keep it around and tolerate the bittersweet memories of you.
------Its 3am in the morning, I don't know why I'm why I'm even writing about you. You tore my heart yet some how I'm fine with it. Maybe deep down hidden underneath; I still harbor feelings. ******** this memory. I hate how painful it is to write about it. ******** you and your saffron dress. ******** you and ******** this tie.
This is Anikacy, ********!
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My Book
I've been writing in this since I was thirteen in 2007. I still am writing in it, and it will probably be my legacy till the day I die. (Don't start reading from the beginning as my writing was atrocious then.)
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