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My Book
I've been writing in this since I was thirteen in 2007. I still am writing in it, and it will probably be my legacy till the day I die. (Don't start reading from the beginning as my writing was atrocious then.)
Memory #4: Trench Coat
------I had this black trench coat when I was younger. I was thirteen If I recall correctly. My hormones were blooming and grooming. It was punching me in the gut and, painting my face red with polka dots. I was super edgy at the time and this trench coat was the epitome of that. I thought it was super cool because it made me look mysterious. Detective Ani on the case. I always had my sketch book with me because I was really into drawing and art at the time.

------I can't stress enough of how super edgy I was. My favourite bands were Hawthorne Heights and Mayday Parade at the time. And, because I was different, I got bullied a lot. I tried to contain myself in my own world in my sketchbook. I surrounded myself in narratives of epic heroes and heroines that I imagined myself to be. I often drew myself with the trench coat as part of my costume.

------I found it in the bin one day, along with my bag. I also found my sketchbook vandalized with graffiti that I did not draw and pages missing. It was after gym class I think. We had to put away our personal belongings on the bleachers. It reeked for the longest time, I couldn't get the smell off despite multiple washings. I had to get a new bag and everything, I either threw out that trench coat or Its locked away somewhere at my parent's house. I don't know why this memory sparked in my head, I was just browsing online looking for a jacket to potentially buy cause its getting cold. I came across a trench coat, and then BAM!

------My brain is like, "Remember this cringy memory, well here you go!" Yikes.

------Is it self hate? That I'd probably bully my younger self too. Because ever since that incident, I changed. I started taking s**t from no one and actually got into fights. I used the fact that I was different. I'm pretty sure I scared the s**t out of them because I started carrying voodoo dolls (that I bought in chinatown) and pentagrams with me. I remember "hexing" one of them because I would draw my own blood, even though it was fake blood, and splashing it onto them. Its kinda hilarious now that I think about it. Of course I got suspended for carrying "pins" and fake blood.

------Super cringy, but a memory nonetheless. I'm probably never gonna wear trench coats ever again if it just triggers this memory but that's fine with me.

Thanks for reading, Detective Ani out!





 
 
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