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If you've ever been in an american school for more than a semester, you probobly know that they have you do some silly, pointless test that they may not even look at afterwards. Why they have us do it may forever remain in the dark, but what I really want to know is who the hell came up with the questions to theses stupid things so that I may hunt them down, grab a pitchfork, and eviscerate them for being so bloody f@^&ing stupid.

The questions on these tests actually cost me a part of my sanity just thinking about them, particularly the math questions. The social studies stuff they have you pretend to know about is worthless information even to someone who works with that material, who the hell cares how a ridiculously expensive road (70 million dollars, I kid you not) on the side of a little town you've never heard of is doing in the summer? The math questions (there are other fields, but who gives a s^#t, they aren't as stupid as this one) are the worst.

They find the most psychotic and pointless ways to make you work with numbers. "A basketball player is wondering what the area of the basket is in comparison to the ball and--" Enough. If you've ever played sports and are not a f^#&ing robot, you've probobly never stopped to think about anything besides winning, much less circumfrence and square roots. Also, why is it that someone would measure all but one part of something, then figure it out mathmatically? "Oh, I could just move the meterstick a little bit and look at it, or I could sit there like a tard and work it out!"

I think I know what lesson this teaches; common sense overrides math skills. Speaking of cents, (yes, a pun) one of the questions told of a lady that had 12 million pennies in her possesion. Let me stop there for a moment, becuase this one had me cackling like a maniac and twitching for a few hours thinking about it. She had 12 MILLION PENNIES. Good f@^$ing lord, who would be that obsessed with the lowest possible amount of currency? I can image that lady walking down the street turning to random people and saying
"penny for your thoughts, penny for your thoughts, penny for your thoughts, sir, penny for your thoughts!"
Every time she walks into a store, I image the clerks, assuming they don't just kill themselves, rue their very lives when they see her. It doesn't matter how her transaction would go, either way, they'd be counting pennies for hours depending on what she bought. I think she must have some sick abraham lincoln fetish to like pennies that much, it's truly disturbing.
Speaking of disturbing, here was the question.
"the lady has 12 million pennies in her home, *twitch* each penny, lain flat, has a hieght of 1.55 mm, she stacked all of them on top of eachother in one stack. *twitch* what is the formula for how high the pennies were?"

...*twitch*

Yea, someone with 12 MILLION PENNIES wants to stack each 1.55 mm penny into ONE F@$^ING STACK, which would penetrate the roof of her house several times, I'm sure, just to figure out the formula for how high it would reach.
Unless you're the f#%&ing greek god of putting things on top of other things without knocking it over, you'll be lucky to stack 12 without mishap. And really, stacking? You have 12 million pennies, a ripley moment for sure, and you don't ask a sensible question like how much all the pennies are worth, (about $120,000, I think) but how do you figure out how high it would be if you put them in one unbeleivable tower!? Who the f@%k writes this s#%t? It's beyond clear to me that
1. they need their heads checked with a battering ram
2. these tests are ridiculous wastes of time (like gym class)
3. It's best not to think aobut the questions. *twitch*

BOTTOM LINE: these tests and their makers are stupid, and trying to contemplate it can make you bats@$t bonkers.

That's this week's rant, I'm Varmeip, Goodnight.