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Daine's Journal
A collection of stories, thoughts, wanderings, and a bunch of fictional writing. A place to develop my characters or just think out loud... You'll never know what may be true or not.
Depressed
I am so danged depressed right now, I think I need to write it out since I really don't have anyone I can talk to about it.
Which is really sad that I will publish this on the web where hundred of people could read about it and don't want to tell my close friends or boyfriend. Go figure. The joys of being anonymous.

So anyway, I fell down the stairs today. Totally my fault...my leg had been bugging me so I was hopping on one leg, missed the step, and landed sideways on my ankle. Which is now swollen and hurts like hell. No kidding.
Luckily my boyfriend was there and caught me before I went all the way down the stairs. He dropped me off in a chair (this was my idea, not his...) so he could go to class and I propped my ankle up. The long and short of it has been that he has been absolutely wonderful to me all day, walking me to class and getting my stuff so I could work on homework and such. And the thing is, where I live, there are only stairs leading up to my room. And he has an elevator leading up to his. So he said I could spend the night with him. So he went and got a bunch of my stuff so I could just have everything I'd need for today and tomorrow so I could just stay with him.

Yes, we've slept together before, no, nothing sexual is going on. That's not the issue. There's nothing better than just curling up in his arms and knowing that the world is safe for one instant and that someone really and truly cares about you and how you feel. Which is how I feel in his arms. Protected. Safe. Loved.

Even if it is all unsaid.

Anyway, so I got my roomie to pack a bag of toiletries for me (shower stuff like shampoo and towel and toothbrush and the like) so I could just shower off in the morning. I've showered when I've had a sprained ankle before and I knew I was going to want one in the morning.
I don't know if that bag got to his roomie or what, but later this evening his roomie stopped in to ask if I really couldn't make it back to my room tonight because it was awkward for him when I slept over.
My boyfriend had checked with him to make sure it was okay and he had said it was "Alright". I had feeling awkward and like I've put someone out unintentionally. I'm stressed with everything that has been happening around me and then to go and sprain my ankle was the last thing I needed. I know feel stupid having brought this stuff to my boyfriend's place, because I feel like I was being presumptuous or something. But I wasn't, was I? I just feel so awful right now, like I was an a** or something.
And I don't know what to do about it. I mean, I shouldn't worry about it. I suppose. But I do. And I feel awful right now.
I'll update this later.






User Comments: [10] [add]
Crimson_Lullaby
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Thu May 26, 2005 @ 05:54pm
You shouldn't feel bad. If your boyfriend already checked with the dude then he has no right to go back on what he said. You weren't being presumptuous, most people take showers in the morning, and if you're staying there so you don't have to climb those stairs....then what's the point of staying, then getting up in the morning and going back to your house to take a shower, or not taking one at all. I think that for one night he can get over it. mrgreen So don't worry, it's not just his house anyway.


commentCommented on: Fri May 27, 2005 @ 07:22pm
I agree with crimson, that guy has no right to go back on his word mad ...Maybe you could ask him to switch with you, like you could let him share your old room and you share his untill your leg feels well again...that way your not "putting him out" ninja



Rainbow Posie
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dragonack
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commentCommented on: Sat May 28, 2005 @ 10:17pm
don't feel like crap cuz of that! wink

don't get mad et glad biggrin


commentCommented on: Sun May 29, 2005 @ 04:30am
.....................................



Heerolena
Community Member
wilderness.magic
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commentCommented on: Sun May 29, 2005 @ 05:44am
Crimson_Lullaby:
Thank you. I needed to hear that. I guess I was just mainly upset because I didn't know his roomie felt so strongly about it. But the thing is, you do whatever makes the other person less awkward, and while I agree, he should just grow up (my bf thinks so too), it would have just caused too many problems for everyone. So I just limped back to my place that night. It would have been hard sleeping with him with my foot. But I wanted to make sure I wasn't out of line...

AquaSpirit04:
Good suggestion, if I could have. Unfortunately, I would a) not want him in my bed, since I would have been in my bf's, not his... and b) my roomie would have killed me for suggesting it. The problem with both of us having roomies. Good suggestion though. I think that it isn't fair of him to go back...but it is true that people change their minds. The thing is that he made it so awkward for everyone involved.

dragonack1:
Um, thanks I guess.

Heerolena:
Was that supposed to mean something?


commentCommented on: Tue Jun 21, 2005 @ 04:09pm
You know what I think that considering he loves to spend time with you he should not complain that one time you took a shower in the morining. Besides like what Crimson said it is not his house he could always leave if he wants to if it bothers him that much. I am not saying he should but he could. You have no need to feel like s**t over that it is not your fault or problem.



jene-chan
Community Member
wilderness.magic
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commentCommented on: Sat Jul 02, 2005 @ 12:16am
jene-chan:
Looking back on it, I think I was just embarrased that we were called on for sleeping together and that we had made people uncomfortable. It is true that I didn't want to seem too presumptuous for things I have done, but I've learned so much in the past weeks. I love him so much.


commentCommented on: Mon Jan 16, 2006 @ 10:37pm
omg, that's totally not your fault and you shouldn't feel bad at all! If his room mate feels uncomfortable with you spending the night there, then he should have said so to begin with! He shouldn't go back on it...

And you totally weren't being slutty or anything...
I stay the night at my boyfriend's house all the time and we sleep together, and I feel exactly perfect and safe like you said in his arms, and I take showers in the morning, and yeah I walk to his room in a towel, and he sees me, but it's ok, that doesn't make you presumptuous at all. 3nodding



sweet_child_o_mine
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Silent Comet
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commentCommented on: Tue Mar 28, 2006 @ 08:32pm
Oh hon, I feel for you, I really do. And the way you describe your boyfriend makes me wish for one. Then again I attract psychos, so maybe not... Anyway, look for more comments, you have very nice, descriptive writing. heart


commentCommented on: Fri Dec 29, 2006 @ 01:59am
Aww... C'mon now, don't think of the cons of the incident, think of the pros! because of this, you got to cuddle with your boyfriend ^_^ and because of this, you know he'll be there for you even when you're hurt. And who cares about his roomy.. (I'm saying this playfully of course) he'll figure something out, he's a guy after all.. LOL

Aww, but I really like that feeling ( never tried it, but i can imagine it wink ) of cuddling in your boyfriends arms and sleeping with him.. with no sexual intentions of course.. lol. i really want a boyfriend... crying



Starluvr
Community Member
User Comments: [10] [add]
 
 
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