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Once again, a twist. It would have had to happen. I now don't know what to do. So I am very definately falling in love with Jon, I really can't help that. And I feel really strongly about him. But Jake has been IMing me...and he just said, and I quote: "let's say one of these hypothetical people thinks your incredibly cute and like the coolest person at the university he's met but he's worried cause he's hardly talked to you except through IM (creeepy...and he's not usually like that...) and cause he thinks your "practically married" to this guy, and he doesn't even want it to be that big a deal but just to hang out every once in a while or something." The guy he is referencing is Jon. Do I tell Jon about this latest development? I don't really want to date Jake...I wouldn't mind hanging out, which is what he is saying, but through what he's been saying, it's definately one of those things where it is pretty obvious that he likes me as more than that. WHY??? I'm not that pretty...I think I'm fun to be around, but I dunno. I've never had this problem, because I've never had anybody who was interested in me. And certainly not more than one person. I don't want to hurt Jake and I don't want to lead him on. I like hanging out with him and being friends...do I just say that to him? How would he react if I did? Sigh Why do things like this always seem to suddenly happen???? I really am developing this great relationship with Jon, and he's the only guy I really spend time with anyway. But now...I've been hurt by people who lead you on or use you and I wouldn't want to do that to Jake. How do I not hurt Jake? Or should I just let things progress naturally??? Now I am so confused. Please do read some of the back posts, since they give more information on this story... I think the last six posts are all on this topic.

Posted by: wilderness.magic Sat May 07, 2005 @ 07:35am

[img:3eeaa78306]http://i.picasion.com/pic38/21c9c2f4b4223d5b1c0f9bdebc00613a.gif[/img:3eeaa78306][/align:3eeaa78306]

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Amedeo
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Commented on: Mon May 09, 2005 @ 10:06am


	Beleive it or not, I've been in this postition before somewhat...... Tell jake upfront. "I like you as a friend. You're a kickass person to talk to, but right at this moment I'm simply interested in you that way." If you like Jon, then be with him. No one should put you in this position, truthfully. If you like jon, be with Jon. If Jake truely cares for you, his response will be to smile and nod.

Commented on: Tue May 10, 2005 @ 06:05am


	Amedeo: Thank you. That mkaes sense. I have been just staying with Jon, but I feel kinda awkward around Jake. It's one of those things where I think he's upset or something, but unless he talks to me, there isn't a lot I can do. And I care more about Jon...though I worry because Jon seems to have this fear of committment that makes it difficult for me to know what is going on with him occassionally. I just know I am falling in love with him, which I am pretty positive about.

wilderness.magic
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Nazi Halo
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Commented on: Tue May 10, 2005 @ 05:52pm


	Make sure Jake knows you're not interested in being involved with him romantically. Tell him, in no uncertain terms. Don't be mean, just be like... If we're going to hang out, I don't want to lead you on. I want you to know I'm not interested in you in a romantic way right now, etc. After he knows that, it's totally fine to hang out with him and see what happens. It might be really healthy for you to spend some time with another guy besides Jon. For all that he might be awesome and you might love him, putting yourself in a position where you have no perspective outside of ya'lls relationship is dangerous. You have to keep yourself somewhat objective - if you don't, you'll never know if things are going wrong. heart You'll get through it, it's not that big of a deal. If Jake starts acting all starry-eyed and it unnerves you, tell him to give up and quit it. If he doesn't, don't hang out with him anymore. It's simpler than you make it out to be. whee heart

Commented on: Wed May 11, 2005 @ 07:05pm


	Nazi Halo: That makes sense to keep thins going with Jake. I don't know how to tell him I'm not interested in him, but I talk about Jon a lot and he's figured out how much I adore Jon. And the perspective issue is a good thing. I hadn't thought about that. Thank you so much. I keep thinking about him and how much I want him and never want to lose him. I dunno if it's a good thing, but we've talked about starting to live together if we are still friends and together in two years. I dunno why we keep thinking about the future, but we do.

wilderness.magic
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Zifnab of Pyran
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Commented on: Sat May 14, 2005 @ 09:40am


	no matter what if a guy likes a person they tend to try hard to impress them even if they dont like them. you can try telling him that you see the two of you as friends and nothing more while hed probably interperate it wrong. im not that good with advice on stuff like this but still, i can tell how most guys are since i am one. your best bet would be to be with the one you have fallen for and try to keep the other guy as a friend, but make sure the guy keeps his distance. hope this helps.

Commented on: Sat May 14, 2005 @ 07:35pm


	FIZBAN311: Thanks! That makes sense... That's kinda my goal. I don't want to hurt Jake, but I just am not interested in him. I want Jon...forever. I can't help it. I've fallen hard. Thanks.

wilderness.magic
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Kane Daithran
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Commented on: Sun May 15, 2005 @ 06:46pm


	you shouldn't need to tell Jon about Jake. If you want to hang out with jake but no hurt his feelings just hang out with him but openly talk about Jon around him that should keep him as a friend and keep everything cool if he starts to pressure you, just tell him that you have a "Date" with Jon you need to catch

Commented on: Mon May 16, 2005 @ 07:54pm


	Kane Daithran: That's actually really good advice, except I don't want to hurt Jon, so I of course tell him about Jake. Because secrets just lead to mistrust and I see it as there's nothing to hide between Jake and me, so why bother trying. Does that make sense?

wilderness.magic
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jene-chan
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Commented on: Sat Jun 25, 2005 @ 05:41am


	It has been so long ago, and it is the past there is no need to tell Jon about something that is done and over with. Besdies I am sure if he wanted to know about Jake he would have asked a while ago.

Commented on: Sat Jul 02, 2005 @ 12:19am


	jene-chan: You have a point. I have been having problems deciding whether or not to tell Jon about everything in my past, but over time I've found that it really doesn't matter. I don't want him to be hurt by things I may have done in my past that I regretted with past bfs or things with Jake. I talked to Jon about Jake and we've had some fun conversations about him, and more and more I came to find that Jon was so perfect for me that I didn't want to jeopardize anything with him by flirting with Jake.

wilderness.magic
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LACPuma316
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Commented on: Wed Jul 13, 2005 @ 11:07pm


	i think that u should talk to Jake. tell him that if the both of you hang out it's just going to be as friends and nothing more. tell him that u think he's cool and that u understand where he's comming from but that u don't wanna do n e thing to hurt the relationship that u and Jon have. (I hope i got everythin right and didn't confuse people)

Commented on: Fri Dec 29, 2006 @ 12:56am


	I've seen my friends lead guys on even though they don't like the guy and yea... don't leave the situation alone thinking Jake will get the point. Tell him right ou you don't like him.. not in a mean way... jsut in a friendly way tell him you don't think of him as a.. guy you would date. Especially when you know you love Jon and wouldn't want to hurt him.. you can't let Jake carry on... tell him if it's possible, you would love to hang out and just be friends..

Starluvr
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