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------She was never into you anyways, despite those times where you tried to be emotional superman, giving her tips on love and life and what not. I'll repeat it again, she was never into you. Though most of the time she was your emotional superwoman as well. It just never happened. Even despite those dark times where you tried to pull yourself together from your shattered shell; you text her "Good Morning Sweetheart", just to get a nice fresh start everyday because you know she'll reply back. But lately she hasn't and you know why. I mean you helped her get him. Yet here you are, killing yourself slowly via smoking and drinking; lies you tell her that you don't do. Shes heavily against you going into the army. You even remember when she said she'll marry you just so you can apply for citizenship, because that's one of the things that you don't have, but can get via service. I doubt she remembers saying that anyways.

------I'm not even sure if you really liked her that much. Even if you did, you never showed it because you know she wasn't into you. You even asked her bluntly yourself. Sometimes, I think you are a dumb a** for falling for her anyways. You even swore to protect her, you swore it to your friend who introduced you to her, who vanished. I'm pretty sure it wasn't like that and it was more of "love" in first sight bullshit. Even so, I'm pretty sure you had that spark inside there somewhere, and you just haven't noticed it because you don't know what you have till its gone right? Heck you even panic a little when she was close to discovering the truth, so close to home. And you wanted to take her to the planetarium and stuff to see the stars that you'll never reach, cause you fail.

------She really is a wonderful friend though. She was there for you pulling you through your bullshit, through your shitty ******** up heart; believing in you. Even though you guys had a proxy relationship to protect each other against Yurik, Rage and other ******** faces out there that would attempt to mess with you guys. I guess Aca was right, about how fake feelings could grow into real ones. I guessing what you liked about her was her compassion, and how she cared about her friends more than herself at times; how thoughtful and beautiful she is. Despite the fact that compassion can be abused as you have seen many times. It kinda balances out with your ideas of Apathetic Enlightenment, in which you rarely give a s**t most of the time. She's the sun, and its her charming personality, like gravity that holds you and everyone around you together, everything you guys do revolved her in it. And when she disappeared, you all collapsed and drifted apart, which split into two pairs. Even though you guys did astrological matching, you knew your signs were never meant to be. Maybe that's another reason why you never noticed.

I can tell you more about your memories with her, but I think we should talk about him, and how you fell in love with him as well...