• You think the thoughts of suicide stopped after that day? Well you're wrong.

    I know you're ashamed of me.
    I hate myself.
    I know everyone else hates me even you.
    I know everyone would be better off without me.
    I don't understand how you keep "forgetting" to say goodnight to me but not to him.
    I don't feel like I was ever good enough for you.
    I constantly try to get your attention all it takes him is a call.
    Is there anything I can do to get your attention at all?
    You want a hug from him, I wanted one from you.
    Please tell me is there anything I can do?
    I've always been this depressed you just never noticed.
    Whenever you turn around I make a frown.
    I rip out my hair but i know you don't care.
    I have stretch marks everywhere but I know you don't care.
    I know they are my sins what person my age has them?
    I try talking to you, you turn away.
    Do you really think Grandpa would be proud of you today?
    I know you're only proud of me for leaving you alone but that's because you're always on the phone.
    I know you want me to leave.
    You've said it so many times.
    It hurt really bad when you said such things.
    Now in my head forever shall they ring.
    i have no one but myself which really sucks.
    I know if I asked you to stay up with me you'd yell, saying you are tired.
    But you'll stay up a good while on the phone.
    And if my nerves bother me i have to deal with them alone.
    Even though the bad ones make me want to kill myself.
    I want your attention can't you see that?
    Will it take me to harm myself? I think it just may be that.