• CHAPTER 163 - SUFFERING

    Everybody suffers at one point. Whether it was in the past or at the current moment. Whether it’s physically or mentally. Whether it’s caused by your lover or not.

    Our second time and it was even greater than the first. We were in heat and we felt there was no other option. Intense make-out was something of the past; Kai and I were at a whole new level in our relationship. Our bodies tangled together, our lips compressed against each others skin, our embraces were always tight, and our eyes were aglow with passion. I never felt like myself during those moments; I was still so used to being the pathetic girl that was afraid to take it up a notch. But I was a whole new person; I was a woman ready to take on the world with an iron fist.

    “I don’t want you to suffer anymore,” I whispered with a cracking voice. “I don’t want you to feel pain.”

    “Suffering isn’t something only humans experience,” Kai mumbled. “We monsters grieve as well. You’re nothing if you’ve never experienced suffering.”

    “But you’ve suffered too much,” I breathed and moaned at Kai’s touch on my body.

    “You’ve suffered as much in almost three years than I have in nearly two centuries,” Kai laughed halfheartedly.

    “How can I stop your suffering?” I cried. “I don’t want you to hurt anymore…”

    Kai stared at me thoughtfully, “My suffering will cease once yours does,” he smiled lightly. “But suffering makes me feel that much more human.”

    “I wish I could make you human,” I pleaded. “You live too long for me.”

    “I would in a heartbeat,” he sighed. “Unfortunately, once you alter from a human, there’s no turning back.”

    Kai kissed my neck and nibbled at the skin. I giggled lightly and tangled my shaking fingers in Kai’s hair. I was incredibly weak. I pulled Kai’s mouth away from my skin and stared at him in the eyes, “How much did you want that child?”

    He paused and stared at me in shock for a moment before his face fell apathetic with sharp eyes, “I don’t know, to be honest,” he mumbled. “I felt unprepared…yet excited. Until I found out the child was a monster.”

    “Don’t say that,” I whispered to him. “Just because it wasn’t your child, and that it was a halfling, doesn’t mean it was a monster.”

    “In my eyes, it was,” Kai sighed. “With a mother like Ayame, any child is a monster.”

    Kai held me closer to him and I moaned again, “How is it…you can go so long?” I changed the subject.

    “I’m a Vampire,” he whispered. “We possess much more energy. We never tire so easily.”

    “I’m exhausted,” I sighed, “but I don’t want to stop. I want to go as long as you can…”

    Kai laid me down and kissed my forehead. He pressed his torso against mine and buried his face in my neck. We laid with each other for a long moment, not moving another inch except for my erratic breathing. He kissed my cheek and my temple and my forehead. He used his thumb to wipe off a drop of sweat on my forehead and I blushed.

    “How much longer do we have until everybody comes back?” I bit my bottom lip.

    Kai looked over at the clock on the end table and thought for a moment, “A few more minutes. It’s been about forty-five minutes.”

    “What’s taking them so long?” I furrowed my eyebrows together.

    “They’re probably conversing with Chi, or accommodating more blood for Kira,” Kai shrugged. He leaned down and kissed me. “The more time we’re granted, the better.”

    I smiled timidly and cupped his face in my hands, “Then let’s use it up to the last second,”

    Kai smiled lightly and kissed me and we continued, finally distracting me from the emotional breakdown I was having over Kai. Every time I would hear about Kai’s story, it would make me even more emotional. I caressed Kai with my right hand and he closed his eyes, gently gripping my wrist and kissing my palm. It was heaven I was in once more; my second time was even more amazing and I knew it would get better every time.

    Kai’s grip on my wrist was becoming a little uncomfortable but I ignored it; he was sensitive to the scent of blood not only from the contract, but because of my erratically beating heart that caused my blood to flow quickly. Oh…the contract…

    “Kai…” I whispered. “Kai, are you okay?”

    He never answered me; instead, his grip on my wrist tightened. I groaned in pain and tried to keep myself calm; he was just having another episode of weakness, right? Just when I had thought our suffering was over for a moment, his talons dug into the soft flesh of the underside of my wrist. I groaned louder and locked my jaw. It was when Kai’s talons dug further and drew more blood that I shouted out in pain.

    “Ow!” I cried out. “Kai!”

    His lips pressed harshly against the trailing blood and he started sucking heavily. He never dug his fangs into my skin, thankfully. His grip was tightening even more and I was sure he would break my wrist unless I provoked him to stop. I gripped his hand that was holding my wrist, on the verge of crying.

    “Kai, stop!” I pleaded. “Stop; you’re hurting me!”

    Kai’s eyes snapped open and he gasped audibly, pulling his mouth away from my wrist and his talons out of my skin which caused him to rip my skin further. My wrist dropped to the ground and I covered my mouth with my good hand. My mind was a blur; Kai and I were just enjoying a passionate moment together and it all went awry.

    “Oh God…” Kai mumbled, staring at his blood-stained fingers with blood dripping off of his chin.

    “I-I’m okay,” I winced and tried to hold my tears back.

    Kai’s eyes flashed to a thirsty red and he winced, lacing the fingers of one hand through his hair, “I have to leave,”

    “No, don’t go again!” I pleaded, embracing him tightly. “It-it’s just a minor scratch…”

    Kai shook his head and frantically pushed me off of him. He climbed off of the bed and dressed himself with the blood on my wrist still on his back from my embrace. Kai gave me one last glance over his shoulder before he left the bedroom. I was too exhausted and shocked to go after him; it was a repeat of the night Kai suffocated me. He hurt me unintentionally, and then left. Was he coming back this time?

    “Oh no…” I groaned and pressed my hand against my bleeding wrist. The amount of blood was making me nauseous but I had to clean it up before everybody else would get back.

    I climbed off of the bed and quickly tried to dress myself in my lingerie. I was too tired to put on anything else and I rushed into the bathroom with a few specks of blood dripping onto the ground. Dropping onto my knees, my stomach started churning violently. I managed to hold the bile down so I could grab the gauze, pads, tape, and cleanser. I took a moment to lean against one of the walls while sitting down and I closed my eyes, breathing deeply.

    I could hear faint chattering downstairs and I panicked. I fondled with opening the peroxide since my right hand still hurt from when Akatsuki bit me. As the bottle cap was almost opened, the bathroom door swung open due to my lack of shutting it all the way. I made eye contact with Kira and he stood in shock for a moment before he quickly left the bathroom. My scent was probably too overwhelming for him; he was still weak.

    Before I could dump any peroxide on my wound, Matsuda entered the bathroom with concern on his face. He stared at my wound, “Arisa, what happened?”

    “I fell,” I said right away, trying not to cry. “I caught my arm on something…”

    Matsuda’s eyebrows furrowed together and he pursed his lips, “It was the contract, was it not?”

    My bottom lip quivered and I started crying again, lowering my head, “Yes,”

    “I figured as much,” Matsuda mumbled, pouring peroxide onto a rag and dabbing it onto my wound. “He drove by us right before we returned.”

    It was after the blood was cleared from my skin that I truly wanted to vomit; there was a jagged line of torn flesh running all the way down the bottom side of my forearm. The blood continued to ooze out and I looked away, “Hurry up,”

    "Don't worry, Arisa, he'll return," Matsuda promised, probably because I started sobbing. "Don't stress out excessively; it will worry Kai more."

    "That idiot..." I cried as Matsuda started wrapping up my arm. "He didn't have to leave."

    "What were you doing that could have caused his spasm?" Matsuda looked up at me after he finished fixing my arm.

    "Um..." I blushed a little. "W-we...we were..."

    Matsuda chuckled lightly, "I see," he started putting the supplies away. "It's good to hear you and Kai have devoted yourselves to each other, but be cautious because your heart rate increases and causes your blood to flow rapidly."

    I nodded, "I know...it's hard to calm myself down..." I blushed. "I get so excited."

    "So I assume this wasn't your first time?" he chuckled. "You're maturing rapidly."

    I rubbed my bandaged arm and sighed, "Thanks for helping me," I wiped off some of my tears.

    "Is there anything I can do to aid you?" Matsuda asked, sitting next to me and draping an arm around my shoulders.

    "I don't care what you do," I mumbled, burying my face in my knees. "Just do anything to distract me."

    Matsuda thought for a moment and smiled at me, "How about you dress yourself and we can take you shopping?" he suggested. "Orihime and I will bring you. Buy anything."

    I released a halfhearted laugh, "I can't buy anything I want; I'd feel too guilty."

    "It's our treat," Matsuda pat my back. "Hurry up and ready yourself."

    I sighed and stood up--wincing from new soreness in my legs--and walked into the bedroom. I took my time dressing myself and fixing my hair. Hesitating, I looked over at the bed and the sheets and comforter were still in a tangled mess. It was hard to believe Kai and I were on that bed together no more than fifteen minutes ago and he was gone again. Knowing Kai, he would be gone even longer. Why was I even trying? Every time I would be near him, he would flinch from pain. Every time I would touch him, he would withdraw. I was putting him in more pain; I was making him miserable. I should probably go to Hell for that...