• So here I am, 30 years old and I still don’t have a clue. Ever since 10th grade when little Maria broke my heart into ten thousand tiny pieces I promised myself I’d never fall in love again. Women are too complicated, I don’t think there has been a single man in the history of, well, man, that has understood the mind of a woman. They always manage to trick you with double meanings and things. I’m sure that even Cave men were distraught by the cave women! You know how cavemen discovered fire? I’m sure it was all some attempt to please his wife with sparkly fire, and of course (as is the nature of women) She probably rejected it, and threw it in a pile of wood – and there you have it, fire. My brother told me to stay away from their kind, but of course, I didn’t listen. That was a mistake I thought I’d never make again. Fifteen years later I finally land the job as an editor for the New York Times, and I’ve found myself falling for a woman… again! I think her name was… Mary? maybe? I’ll have to get a closer look. Wait… did you just see that? I think she just looked at me!

    Ugh! Here I am, 30 years old and still single! I thought It would last forever, ever since that incident in 10th grade, when little Adam Broke my heart… I broke his right back. Men are so simple! It’s like all they care about is Food, sex, and sleep! They’re like animals on SO many levels, Sort of like… Cavemen! And how come all anyone ever cares about are the famous MEN. Who cares about that Socrates guy or George Washington? What about the famous women of history, like Oprah? I mean, look at how much she’s done for the world, what did all those famous Greek guys give us? Democracy? Oh please… The world would run much smoother if it was matriarchal. Then there’s that new guy who just came in, I guess he’s sorta hot… Oh my God! I think he’s looking at me! I think I’ll wave to him!

    She was DEFINITELY looking at me, I just know. I leaned back in my chair to peer over at her cubicle, when I saw her waving to me! I was so enthralled that I didn’t notice my chair collapse backwards, throwing me and a pile of papers all over the floor. When I recovered enough, I opened my eyes just in time to see my co-worker next door peering over my Cubicle. “Rookie.” And his head sank behind the barrier once more.

    Oh my God! Did he just… HA! He fell over! That’s SO funny, I only waved to him! If I talk to him, he might have a seizure! Men are too easy!