I fingered the words I had imprinted on it. Maria and Chris I took a breath and handed him the photo album.
"These are... memories so you won't forget me."I softly whispered. He tenderly held it in his hands and looked at the words. He opened the cover but I placed the palm of my hand on it and shut it. "Don't open it until I leave." I swallowed hard, and walked away, leaving the tears that had started to form in the corner of my eyes. The tears burned as they rapidly fell down my cheeks. I let them continue to fall. One landed on my wrist and I winced. The pain stayed. I held the tears in for nights, forcing myself to stay strong, but it was too much. When I found out, I remember that I cried, so hard. I teared so much; my heart ached from the lost of trust. After hours of loathing myself, I stopped, and picked up a knife and I thought, why should I kill over something a stupid mistake a juvinille boy had made? I vowed to never to shed a tear over him again. I had broken my promise to myself. They poured out like nobody's business. I could taste the salt in the edges of my mouth and I cried some more. He watched me as I strolled away, silently shaking as I walked. He didn't care about me. He paused, then he opened the album, the pages were white. He flipped through several more pages, but the slots remained empty. He was dumbfounded. We had been together for three months, I still remember the moment he asked me. I hugged him and didn't let go. We started out just as friends, but over the next couple of weeks, we became closer. Everyone had warned me that he was no good. I knew this for a fact, seeing the way he treated others, but I didn't care. I was madly in love, and I fell too hard for the wrong boy. There were a couple flaws with Chris. I always wished for me and him to just simply take a stroll beside the lake in the moonlight, hand in hand, and his slight, musky smell, filling inside of me, making me warm. But my dream was never fullfilled. No matter how many times he said I love you, he could never fill the empty feeling deep inside of me, the place where our romantic dates should have been, and the trust that we were suppossed to have for eachother. Instead, there was a hole, that burned more and more of me, and killed me slowly everytime I saw him with the other girl...
I quietly breathed as I slept on my warm bed. Bzzzt. Bzzzt. My phone vibrated. I opened my eyes and yawned. Exhausted from swim practice, I collasped while doing my homework and took a long nap. I picked up my phone; It was Chris. I smiled and opened up my phone. "Hello?" I squeaked.
"What's up babe?" I asked. I wrapped my arms around my knees.
"Uhh, I was planning on riding by our school right now."
"Yeah, mind if I ride by? Just real quick?" It was six o'clock. My dad was already home from work, I could hear him cooking dinner in the kitchen. He never approved of boys, even as friends, and I didn't even know what he'd say if he saw some ganster-looking boy talking to his daughter in the front yard. "Hello?" He asked again.
"Sure. Maybe you can just bike by and wave or something."
"I don't exactly know where..."
"Yeah, if you go straight down Mantler, and turn at Popler, its my street." Rush baby, go.
"Cool babe. Alright, I'll see you. Bye."
"Bye." I whispered, and hung up. I squealed and got up.
I looked at myself in the mirror, my hair was messy and unkempt. I grabbed my brush and ripped out the tangles. It didn't help very much. I tied my hair in a ponytail. Good enough. I went into the backyard, telling my dad I was going to play with Jasper, so he wouldn't be suspicious. I opened the glass slidedoor. As soon as I took my first step, Jasper pounced on my leg and began scratching at it. "Off Jasper." I commanded. He continued. I slipped on some flip-flops and walked into my backyard. I could hang out here until he called. Jasper had followed me outside. I threw his ball and he attacked it like a cat catching a mouse. We played like this for a while, but I didn't get anything from Chris saying that he was there. So I called.
"Hey, are you coming?"
"Yeah, just let me eat first."
"Oh, sure. Bye."
"Bye." I hung up. I took a breath, atleast I knew he was coming. Soon, Jasper took interest in a stick that had fallen off the maple tree, and began chewing on it, so he didn't care about the ball anymore. I decided to wait in the front yard in case Chris decided to suprise me. I crept outside, making sure Jasper didn't follow me and my dad didn't see, and sat down on the lawn, and waited.
Another half an hour. He still didn't show up. I called him but he didn't pick up. Stop worrying. He told you he'd come, and he will. I called once more just to make sure. Again, he didn't pick up. My hands were cold from standing outside so I ran in the house quickly and got a jacket. I didn't want him to ride by before I could get outside. I rushed out into the back and opened the gate; no one was there. I was about to call him again but I decided not to. I didn't want to seem too desperate. I couldn't afford losing him.
Time passed and my cheeks were getting colder. I couldn't feel my fingers anymore. I didn't care, though. I loved Chris, he was worth it to me. I still waited,
The knife came out for the first time that night, and onto my wrist. I had been stood up.
- Title: Young love causes mistakes
- Artist: i l y infinity-plus-one
I added onto my story, in case any of you haven't read the epilogue. I've just decided that I'm going to add onto the story each time I write and just rewrite the older entrys so it'd be easier to read ~
P.S. I might edit some of the previous entries so they may turn out different in each post.
- Date: 04/25/2009
- Tags: young love causes mistakes