• “Ahh… Paris… Where they speak the language of love, do they not? Excellent choice..” He said in an annoyingly adorable, yet hilariously awful, French accent. “First you want to learn Japanese, and then a year later, you change to French. What a switch that is my dear friend…”
    “You can just shove it, alright?” I snapped back. As cute, and funny, and smart and……. Perfect as he was, I wanted nothing more than to bash his pretty little face into the concrete right now. I had simply decided that my four year long interest in Asia had come to an end, and now from my recent choice in novels; that Europe was my new fad. I was only fifteen, what more could he expect from me?
    “Relax Mads…I was only joking…” He was pulling the eyes on me again. That was the second time today! I wasn’t falling for this again, so I looked away and rashly changed the subject.
    “You always call me that….”
    “Wait… What? What do I call you?”
    “You call me ‘Mads’ when I’m angry with you. I’m not sure if you do it because of the… I don’t know… Irony of it, would you say? Or if you do it to make me angrier. Either way you pull the eyes and I melt regardless.” I admitted sheepishly. Bad subject choice, I almost screwed myself over with that tiny little comment. Stupid.
    He eyed me carefully for a moment. He knew there was some how a double meaning in my words that he wasn’t meant to figure out. He was smart like that.
    There was a sad fact to this conversation. The fact that he was my best friend. He had been for the past three years. No that’s not a sad fact; I can honestly say that Dice was the best thing that ever happened to me. And to get slightly off track, his name isn’t Dice; I just decided it sounded better than Mike, his real name. Dice was just completely random, I thought of it one day in math, and have been calling him that ever since. Anyway, back to the sad fact.







    The thing about Dice was… I was in love with him. I don’t know why, or how, but I am. I love him more than I though anyone was capable of. If he knew that, then I don’t know what would happen…Dice, is Dice and with him anything can happen. I know I’ll have to tell him at some point. I just need to think long and hard about how and where I’m going to do it. Not romantically. Almost random. Just slip it to him. At a foot ball game. “Hey… uh, Dice…. I’m just kinda in love with you…. Thought you outta know… anyway…”
    No, that was bad. I will NOT do that.
    “Mads?.... hello?? Madison! Geez! Come back to reality please… you’re freaking me out a bit.”
    “Oh…. Uh… Sorry Dice….”


    Days passed, no matter how much thought I put into it, I never could find that perfect way. Not just yet anyway.
    It was to the park, out of the house like our parents had nagged us until we left, that we exiled ourselves. Not that we minded much. I know I liked our personal spot by the huge oak tree. I like to wonder why no one ever takes our spot. It’s perfect, under shade almost all of the time. Oh well, their loss.
    I think he was half asleep when the battle in my mind over telling him the truth was finally over, and the sappy love obsessed little girl on the inside won.
    “Uh… Dice….?” I asked in a voice so low, it was more or less a whisper. I think my voice was shaking…. Fantastic.
    My tone caught his attention immediately. “Yea, Madi? You okay?” he asked, rolling over on his side to look at me. Oh he knew something big was coming. I hated how smart he was sometimes.
    “ I have something I need to tell you. I’ve needed to tell you for ages now… and….. Well, you know Romeo and Juliet?”
    “Um… yes… Why?” I confused him. Good, I was hoping for that.
    “Never mind. Bad analogy. Well…. I…. You see… I just…. Damn it… All right.” I sat up and made sure I was staring right at him. I would have looked him in the eye, but I don’t think I could have been able to stand that much. “Dice…. I’m… I’m just kinda in love with you…. Thought you outta know it… So… yea….” The exact way I told myself I would NOT tell him. Frick.

    “I… Um… well…. Excuse me?” He seemed shocked. All this time I thought he knew. Guess not.
    “Wow, you can’t tell acting from reality, can you Dice?” I tried to sound joking, but the pain in my voice sounded plain enough to me.
    I watched his face flash through many emotions at once. Disappointment, then sadness, then almost anger I thought, disappointment again. He quickly composed himself, keeping his face impassive. That was very unlike him. I did something horribly wrong.
    It was silent from then on. After a while he got up. Said he had to leave. I didn’t believe that, but I let him go. I followed his example and went home soon after anyway, letting the tears well up ever so slowly on the walk home.
    I called him as often as I could after that. He never answered. Crap. What had I done? I spent almost two weeks never leaving my room. Never leaving the phone. Always hoping. I waited, and waited, and waited. Nothing, never. I was done with the silence. I was going to try and see him. His mother adored me. She would make him see me.
    I spent an hour in a bitter argument with myself on the last block to his house. Finally I gave up and just walked the last few yards to the door and knocked.
    His mother answered, naturally.
    “Hey… Um…. Is Dice home? I was hoping I could see him.” I sounded so feeble and pathetic. It was kinda depressing.
    “Sure hon. I’m not going to guarantee that he’ll be pleasant company, he’s been damn near lifeless for a few weeks now. I’m gettin’ a little scared. He probably just needs a pick me up from his best friend, eh?” she chuckled to herself as we went up the narrow stair case to his room. We knocked a few times before his mother decided to let us in herself.
    He was even more lifeless than I thought. He was on his bed, laying still. As still as a corpse really. I put my hand over my mouth to keep in the sobs that were building up. What in hells name happened to him?
    His mother took notice of my reaction to his state and left the room quickly.
    I sat beside him on the edge of the bed. “Dice?”
    His head moved a fraction, to acknowledge that I was there.
    “Dice… what’s gotten into you? Are you all right? I have to say this transformation has bothered me. You won’t answer my phone calls. It doesn’t look like you’ve moved from this spot in a while. Dice?.... Dice talk to me!”




    A moment passed and he lifted his head to look at me. His eyes shone as if he were dead. “You REALLY wanna know Madi? Do you?” He asked brutally.
    His tone really caught me, and the traitor tears came pouring from my eyes. “Yes… Please tell me… I’ve been so worried about you….You have no idea.” I whispered.
    “Worried about me?” He seemed shocked. “You didn’t seem too worried when you ripped my heart apart a few short weeks ago. You knew! I know you knew how I felt, yet still you played that dirty trick on me!”
    This caught me off guard more than anything. “Your heart!? Like hell, Dice! I’ve been just as pathetic and miserable as you seem these past weeks! I thought I was the depressed one, and you’re the one trying to make everything better! Damn it Dice I love you! I’ve loved you too much for WAY to long to let this happen because of me!” I screamed.
    He just stared at me with blank, cold, hard eyes. “You seemed fine enough to call me over fifteen times in ten minuets.”
    “That’s what you think, but you wouldn’t answer! So there fore you could have absolutely NO idea of the hysterics I’ve been in, I thought it was endless!” I was at wits end. There were only two ways he could answer this question. I let my knees give away, for by this time I’d had to stand up to yell at him, and I was knelt beside the bed. “Just answer this, and I’ll leave you, dependant on the answer.” I was quiet a moment, waiting for some sort of remark on his part, yet he was just as silent as I. “I… obviously care for you. Maybe more than I should, maybe in a different way than you can be comfortable with… But.”
    He stopped me short, by putting his finger at my lips. “Shut up…. I get it, alright…. Now its time for you to get it. Madi, when I first started talking to you that one truly random day in math class three years ago it was some gift from god in my eyes. I remember in grade school, watching you play around. Always by yourself, but you always seemed so happy. As years got on, we got older. I watched the dramatic change in you every passing day. The depression that crept into your expression with each moment your life was prolonged. I grew terrified that you would do something stupid. Now that I know you, those assumptions were completely logical. You would have done something stupid, if not for me. If not for my constant praying for you, and always watching for a sign



    That you were going to break. I even talked to your teachers about how you acted in class. Sure they thought I was some crazy stalker. To be honest, I guess I was. The fact is that from the moment I got placed in your class in what was it?.... second grade. I knew that some how, some day you were going to be an abnormally huge part of my life.”
    I stopped. I wasn’t sure of what he was saying, but I knew it would be some how a good thing once it sunk in. “So… what are you saying? Ever since you saw me you loved me, or some thing like that?”
    “Hell no. My first day in that school, I got picked on. It was nasty, I couldn’t stand it. But you, the only other ‘freak’ in our grade stood up for me. Sure you might have gotten punched a few times… but for some reason you still stood up for me. You never talked to me afterwards, but I was never picked on again either. I figured some way I’d repay you… It wasn’t until last year, I realized I loved you…. Now that I’m all explained, I have one thing to say. You could never act well at all. I don’t think I ever really believed you at the park. But your words, felt so good, yet hurt so bad. I couldn’t help but dwell on them.”
    I was quiet for a bit. Going over his words. I understood now, and I was so unbelievably happy, it seemed odd, even to me, that I could contain it enough to say; “Are you sure you aren’t really gay on the inside? That was the gooiest thing I’ve ever heard. Not even Mom’s harlequin romance novels could top that!”