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Hey Journal, I know I've been ignoring you for a while now. I'm sorry its just that school starts. I also made new friends; But that's not the purpose of this entry. I'm looking for it, I'm hunting for the past. I hate it, I hate it because it hurts. A part of me just wants to leave it alone. But I will never forgive myself for what I have done... why I left him in the first place.

But I think his letter is gone, might have destroyed it to oblivion because it hurts to much to read back then, but its my fault anyways. I have some scraps of letters from him before that letter happened and it still hurts of memories. A part of me destroyed myself, locked those memories away because it was painful! But I have to know... Julia says I should learn to forgive myself. I'm trying but I can't. I have to understand first, no matter how painful it is. Then maybe I can finally write back to him, and maybe we can be partners in crime again, maybe we can rule the universe together or two, just like in the good old days before our galaxy was broken in the first place.

I can't find the letter and I have to read it, I have to understand why... but its gone now so. There's my last shot at redemption.