• I.
    Every school should have an unsolicited
    Painting of George Washingon.
    The tackier the better.

    II.
    No one says that puberty was a fun time.
    But at least Judy Blume was honest; where is
    My Are You there God?
    It’s Me, Margaret moment?

    III.
    Snow can always be plowed in time
    Frozen diesel, though
    Makes it difficult to run the buses.

    IV.
    What is the point
    In holding a half day?
    The kids still need to be fed;
    At that point, just go the full day.

    V.
    Being handed a textbook on Physiology
    Does not count as Sex Ed.
    neither does a health class
    that doesn’t involve a condom.

    VI.
    When in doubt, find it through Google.
    Never unsee the results.

    VII.
    There is no need to read real YA books,
    When there is Naruto fanfiction.
    There is sex in Naruto fanfiction.

    VIII.
    Being yourself is a great way to live.
    It is also a great way
    To get bullied in middle school.

    IX.
    A clenched jaw does not make
    Radical or otherwise subversive commentary.

    X.
    Yaoi is pronounced with two syllables;
    People at Japanese camp will stare
    If you say it otherwise.
    So will the emo kids.