Our: Always

• Artist: MirroredDream
• Description: Wrote this for my Creative Writing 4 class. The structure I put here is the third paragraph basically explains the second; you should get it as you read on. Enjoy and comment :)
• Date: 12/03/2009
• Tags:

On this Earth we are given
a name
a face
a voice
and some thoughts in our head
This is our: identity

And in this life we have
ourselves
our body
our blood
and our strength to stay
Telling us to be: here

I wish I could say my strength is here
Pulsing through my blooded veins
Throughout this mangled body
That I can manage to call myself

But it’s what these thoughts in my head say
Along with the voices that aren’t mine
They come from hidden faces
And refuse to give their names

They like to tell me they are perfect
Never stuttering for a glance back
“Somehow the Earth will stop spinning,”
And here we stand so young

Someone screamed for us to remain still
We act like we are not shaking scared
Walking with a fear in each step
Breathing last is what we’re fighting for

They teach us how
to breath
to walk
to act
and to remain still
These are our: instructions

They like to tell us:
we’re young
change the world
don’t look back
and be perfect
Let me introduce: your breaking point

Comments

[MirroredDream]

to be quite honest, i still don't know what the poem as a whole is about
but i am able to go through paragraph by paragraph and explain it to people
lol

[Aziin Z]

This is really interesting, i like the structure and the flow, tho im not clear of the message....
i wish i had better analysis skills