Masquerade

• Artist: Phluffles
• Description: This is a poem I wrote one day in study hall. Ah... my inspiration. But, I wrote this because I felt like the one I love doesn't even notice me, like I was wearing a mask. But, an amazing thing happened. After writing this, he talked to me. Maybe there is such a thing as True Love...
• Date: 11/27/2009
• Tags: masquerade masks

I'm hidden underneath this mask,
My skin, My eyes, My hair.
But really underneath it all,
is my hidden deep despair.

Finding that one for you
the someone you will love.
Is just sitting in your hands
As gentle as a dove.

But when your mask is on too tight,
It makes your feelings stay.
With those feelings, you grasp to hard,
And then that love flies away.

Then I find the courage to remove this mask,
I'm tired of all this mess.
I would rather take the jokes from girls,
And snickers from the rest.

But, when I remove this Masquerade,
Off my gentle head,
I don't find jokes and snickers,
But True Love instead...

Comments

[Phluffles]

Thanks~
biggrin

[XxPixiusTattersxX]

I enjoy this very much, this inspiration you talk about has caused me to be inspired to try as hard as you can even with the fear of failing, good luck with that boy of yours, cause if he reads this he might just fall for you with this so called "True Love" ringing in his mind. Love the poem!!
<3

[Cyntryli]

Do not let others criticize you because of what others think. Do not let this 'Kittilord' interfere with this poem as well. Although I dislike "Love" this is a brilliant quatrain poem.

[Phluffles]

Phoenix, I accept your constructive critisism but I have different thoughts about this. I personally have never read any poem similar to this/this idea. And, I'm not writing in this 'Gaian Emo Population' style. I'm not emo and this is a happy piece. I'm not writting to kill myself. O.e
Cliche Vocabulary and my writing skills have you thinking I'm unorginal? Excuse me but the most famous poets rhyme and use basic words in their art. So, why can't I?
I kindly apperciate your comment. Thanks.

[hatsukoi_bby]

I agree with kittilord. There is nothing fresh or new about your work; it basically mirrors the rest of the gaian emo population. The rhyming and cliche vocabulary bring nothing to this piece. You might try some unique imagery, or some new adverbs ("my gentle head"?); honestly, do you not see other poems simply similar to this?

[demon strait outta_hell]

I'll be honest with you, i don't like poems that rhyme, but this one is really good!!! i really like it!!

Signed i'm glad he noticed you! have a fantastic day!!! ^_^

DEMON S

[Phluffles]

Kittilord, that was quite rude of you. My feelings are hurt deeply because of what you said. But, I guess your common sense hasn't kicked in because my inspiration thing, ya, it was a joke! Oh and, I do appreciate constructive critisism but not when your out dishing my work like leftover garbage. Maybe you should try writing a poem. I just hope you know my feelings are very hurt and that you pretty much ruined my day with your damper comment... T^T