[untitled]

• Artist: Hex_Zia
• Description: I really don't know what to call it
  now I think it's truly not that great
  It's like i'm ranting . . . . I don't know
• Date: 12/26/2008
• Tags: untitled

She carries these eyes
eyes that take me in
They pull with heartfelt arms
and as the day turns into night again
I go viciously flying away
with dreams
I find myself lost
Because these eyes
they haunt me
so much it hurts me

But I love it
Oh, do I love it

What more would I want
then to be trapped in her eyes
and destroyed by her radiance
To be pierced by those beams of light

That delicate beauty
oh how it pulls me in

I am a humble insect
and she is this
this bug zapper

But I will gladly take that in for her

Comments

[Eevlu]

Whoever this girl is, she must really captivate your entire soul. I hope she opens those haunting eyes and sees you, and wants you in return ^^ Your poems make me speak sorta poetically too Xwx() I should stop sweatdrop

[peacekitten65]

it's alright. Sounds like your a beginner though. What you might want to do is add more poetic language.
Ex: replace "She carries these eyes" with "These eyes of beauty; Tantalize me; They take me in..."
Little things can have a huge affect and turn your poem from good to great.
AS for the title, that's always hard. I usually just use domething from the poem. How bout haunting?

[whitejade13]

Oh. That's very nice. I love it!!! 50/5 smile smile smile