Place

• Artist: Stacia Starburst
• Description: This poem is the true exposure to what God has and still is doing to us. Also what we are doing to ourselves. We are killing the world that was created for life.
• Date: 11/04/2008
• Tags: placepoem

Take my hand and follow me.
We're going to a place that only the poor can see;
Where the rivers run dry, and the plains are bare.
Where the trees are dead and withered; where life is rare.
Where the wretched souls that thirsted, wander for their lost desire.
Where we stand at this very moment.
Upon which was formed by a God to be beautiful.
We are where we were born and where we must retire.

Comments

[Cognuisance]

I'm not necessarily against rhyme schemes but I don't feel like rhyming aided the poem much. Given that rhyming often helps establish a rhythm I think I may have enjoyed the poem more if you didn't deviate from the pattern on the seventh line, it feels disruptive. At the end it may have worked but near the middle.

[Lil silly-gal]

while reading this i felt like you were bringing me to a desert!
5/5

[-XthedragonseyesX-]

*blown away by pwerful storm of words*
whoa-Excellent*bill and ted flashback*

[tksunshine93]

wonderful and sadly so true
i love the rhythm
great job!!

[Raging Silence]

wonderful!