It was the time when carols were sung.
Presents were given, Christmas bells were rung
My present to you is a little tale you see
One only told to the true G’s
An Urban area is where this takes place
An area filled with that of multiple race.
Blacks, Latinos, Crackheads and Asians
You know we can’t forget those Caucasians
But on the edge of the small area there was one more.
He wasn’t seen very often, locked stayed his door
He had to be something of other sort
He kept to himself sorry to report.
From head to toe he had green hair.
His eyes were also green, making a scary glare.
What exactly was he? No one really knew.
He stayed by himself and that’s nothing new.
The one known thing was that Grinch was his name
And all that stolen s**t on Christmas, he’s to blame.
He stocked up on stuff every year,
He’s done it so much it was now his career
Games, cell phones, puppies, and even gift cards
He was so damn sneaky so it was never hard.
But this year he wanted to be different
This year he would change the way his Christmas was spent.
Last year he stole shoes, shirts, jeans, and hats
How about he steal a** this year? How ballin is that?
Sounds pretty ballin if you ask me
Think about it,”steal a**” of course you agree.
So his quest this year he was now sure
He was liking the idea more and more.
So on Christmas Eve he set out.
The night before he had thought out his route.
First Tiffany who lived on 5th street
Then Yolanda would be second to greet
Third of course we have Grace
After, Britney would be the one to chase
Kim is then the one to add to the mix
Then to end it Jesse would be number six.
He had two boxes of condoms so he wouldn’t get a germ
He also styled himself up with a perm
And on Christmas Eve morning, at 11:00
Just straight out pimpin he hit the block.
He hadn’t been out in a while, so there were homeboys to greet
It was handshakes all around to the guys in the street.
Then upon that being done
He decided it was time to hit up girl #1
Greeting his homies set his schedule back a bit
But hey, sex is sex, he didn’t give a s**t.
He walked the two blocks down to the street with 5th on its sign
He was a bit hungry so after this, he would have to dine.
He calmly strolled down to Tiffany’s house,
He sneaked into the window quiet as a mouse.
So many years of stealing, he made no sound
Tiffany didn’t here him; she didn’t know he was around.
He walked into her room and she happened to be sleep
He turned off her alarm just in case it were to beep
“Ante up b***h! It’s Christmas Eve!
I was trying to get my “present” before I leave”
Tiffany was awfully surprised at Grinch’s entry,
Who cared? Her boyfriend was in the penitentiary.
“OK Grinch” was all she could say
And that’s how The Grinch started his day.
He strapped on his glove so he was legit.
They did their thing and that was it.
As he got dressed something was grumbly.
The Grinch then realized he had a rumbly in is tumbly.
He left out quick and knew his stomach was in the mood
Before his next girl he had to get some food.
He had some cheerios with honey from the bees
Then he decided to drop down by Mickey D’s
Yolanda was next to no surprise
He was heading to her house after he finished his fries
From McDonalds her place was only a hop skip and a jump
He was so happy he was coming for that rump.
The house was closed on all angles.. The Grinch had to pause
He then just slid down the chimney like he was Santa Claus
What he and Yolanda did is to obvious to describe
He got what he wanted without any bribes
So that was number two crossed of the list
On the way out he stole a watch for his wrist.
It was getting up in hours so it was like a race.
He had a nice little quickie with number three, Grace
It was edging on to two thirty, and he was aiming to be finished by six.
He did the math and he only had three more chicks.
It was ok to a reason or rhyme
A bit less then 4 hours? s**t, he still had time.
Ok, so Britney was next in line
She lived 2 blocks east on 7th and Vine
During his walk, who wanted to have a chat?
It was our friend, The Crackhead in the Hat!
Up to the Grinch he quickly ran
In his hand was a silver can
“What’s up Grinch! Can I have some money maybe?
I got this Redballs it’s cocaine in a can baby!”
The Grinch shook his head and kept on walking
Señor Crackhead just kept on talking.
Eventually the Crackhead in the hat stayed at bay
And eventually the Grinch arrived at Britney’s place of stay.
He stared at the front doorknob and noticed with shock.
He noticed from a distance it was unlocked.
He looked at her door with a large green grin
So like a straight up gangsta, he strolled right in.
Britney was appalled “Must you be so mean?”
Grinch said “What’s up baby? You ready for the green?”
He put on two caps before he made the tap
Just cause’ word around the street was, b***h had the clizzap.
For an hour and a half, the Grinch fell asleep
When he woke up, in covers he was waist deep.
He jumped out of bed and checked his rolex
And with a scared look, double checked with his cell phone text.
“4:00? Oh s**t! I’m late!
Why did I fall asleep with this damn date?”
The Grinch had two hours, including time for the trip
Around this time he was feeling like a dip.
“It’s all good I can take Jesse off the tab,
Wouldn’t matter for me, I heard she got crabs”
So upon taking one off the quest
Mr. Grinch’s time restraints were laid to rest.
He took the 30 minute walk to the house of Kim
Around this time the sky was dim.
He went inside and got some a**
Left back out and smoked some grass.
The he went home as the day was over
He had gotten more luck than a four leaf clover
This was Grinch’s best Christmas because he changed his usual grind.
So if you want to make a difference, all you need is an open mind.
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