I think it's been four months now since my mom was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. They caught it really early. Thankfully, there will be no chemo. Instead, she had a mastectomy. I know it's not very rare anymore, but it's still so hard to grasp that my mother was recently clear of breast cancer. This kind of thing is what I usually hear about happening to someone else. Then again, to the rest of this over-crowed world, I AM someone else.
The surgeries have a high price. That and my dancing, well, there isn't much left over. We were planning a vacation, Friend, to Alaska, but we keep postponing it...oh Friend, I've only been to three states: Florida, Georgia, and South Carolina. I often wonder what it would be like to be someone else somewhere else, but what good is dreaming when reality is ready to smack you across your pitiful face?
That's why I dance, Friend, to help relieve some of the pain I often feel. Sometimes it's all I can do not to cry. I have to dance! I have to let the music flow through my veins. That's when I quit thinking and I let the music move my feet. My emotions guide my legs as I let go.
My grades are dropping, though. My dad says C's are unacceptable. He knows my grades are dropping. What he doesn't know is that I might end up with a D on my report card. Do you know what would happen then, Friend? Do you know what would happen? I would have to quit some classes. Some of my dance classes. I don't think I could handle that. What other way would I have to release my pent-up emotion? I can always write, but sometimes...sometimes that's not enough.
I find myself wondering, Friend, how things will eventually turn out. I hope for the best, but that is typical. I try not to get too down, moping doesn't help any. But I'm so emotionally fragile right now, little things can make me break. I'm a simple bridge attempting to carry a 16-wheeler and my braces are beginning to crack.
There are things to look up to, though. We're all alive. I have friends. I still dance, for now anyways. And I think I'm in the last half of the race, Friend. I've made it this far. I'm determined to cross the finish line. I pray that I will.
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