It’s always a horrifying moment when you can tell just how close you are to dying. That feeling of dread as it washes over you every time you take a single breath; a feeling like you’ll never get to breathe again. From that time, I always thought I was doing the right thing, that by changing up the objective of our mission, peace would be a realization. Was I a fool to ever believe that. The Collective knows only one thing and it’s only what the Collective understands, and as for the things they don’t; they’ll destroy and have the other simulations understand that for them.
It’s not easy when you’re nothing but a simulation, that your sole purpose is to help someone or something understand the things they can’t comprehend, the things they feel as if it’s too complicated for them to fathom.
And here, I thought if I changed things up a bit, just a little bit, they’d come out of that phase, they trusted me, they trusted us to make the hard decisions, they “trusted” in those that would only follow their ideals.
I am a fool.
I was a fool to trust myself, to think that if I changed where the boat would sail off to would be the best course to take. To barge through the waves of needless costs, to take the path that’s least destructive, everything would be fine. And now, I’ve put everyone dear to me at risk. They’ll end up dead because of a horrible mistake I’ve made and that I wouldn’t even be able to save them from that. No matter how many of my selves I’ll put in the way, no matter how many detours I can come up with to put in front of him. He’ll come for me and tie up all the loose ends I’ve sown up. I don’t know what to do, I can’t stop fearing for how I’m supposed to help my friends, how I can spare them from what has to be done. How our simulation must end so that they can take over and continue from where I failed to lead my kin.
Oh god, he’s here now...
I am here now.
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