• Show: Princess Tutu

    Summary: You created the princess and the knight, you made them destroy themselves; and then you forced them onto real creatures of flesh and blood.

    Main Pairing: FakiaxAhiru

    Hey, you there, by the window. Yes, I mean you, with the yellow feathers and the beak. You never seem to notice me anymore. The only thing you do nowadays is stare out the window at by-passers, looking almost sad and nostalgic. I wish you'd turn around and look at me now. I miss you.

    Sometimes I wonder if you remember me anymore. Maybe you're staying with me only because you get a comfortable bed, crumbs of bread and someone to pet you now and then. Even though I have my doubts, I still care for you. I made a promise - and even though I've broken all others, I'll always keep the one I made to you.

    It's been ten years since that storyteller went out of our lives. Everything's normal now. It's so disturbingly normal, I can't help but look outside and imagine our lives as they were back then.

    And I regret. I regret treating you the way I always did. I regret ever having hated you.

    I regret never telling you I loved you.

    It's snowing outside, Ahiru. You never reply. You stare at the falling snowflakes with a melancholy I almost understand. I wish you'd say something to me, Ahiru. Even if the only thing you'd do is quack, I'd still understand you. I'll always understand you.

    I've started drawing pictures - pictures of you, Ahiru. The other students tease me. They look at the girl with the pink braid and the sad blue eyes, and tease me for being in love with a non-existent, fictional girl. If only they knew.

    If only they knew.

    People stare at me as I walk through the streets. I've become something of a legend nowadays - the almost-thirty-year-old man who lives with no one but a small, adorable yellow duck. They avoid me like a dog, but they gossip about me behind my back.

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    I haven't seen Mute in quite a while. Actually, I haven't seen him since the day he left Kinkan Town, in a carriage carrying him and Rue away to his kingdom. I miss him terribly, but I'm almost glad I haven't seen him either, because I hate him too. He took all that I and Ahiru had to give him...and he rode off, never giving a thought to the people who saved his life.

    He never thought of us again.

    Sometimes I wish Ahiru hadn't given back those last heart pieces. I'm being selfish, I know. But it's hard to see her, day after day, staring out of that window, looking at people like she'd want to be one of them herself.

    "Quack." She quacks a little now, if only in bits and pieces.

    "Hello, Fakia."

    "Food, Fakia."

    "Take me outside, Fakia." It's almost as if the real Ahiru, with her bosomful of cheerfulness and sheer thick-headedness, had never existed.

    "Are you really Ahiru?" I ask one day, unable to bear it anymore. "Are you her, or are you someone I don't know?"

    "Qua...ck."

    The small duck hesitantly looks at me, and then turns her head back towards the window. And then it hits me - I was right. She doesn't really remember me at all - and she doesn't remember being Ahiru. She's not someone I know.

    I want to cast her out on the streets - leave her to go wherever she wants to go, and leave me alone. I want to throw out all of the pictures. I want to forget Mute, Rue and Ahiru. I want all those memories to leave me alone.

    "I'll always be by your side."

    I had said those words to Ahiru before she became this fragile little existence, this bitter, forgetful, lonely little duck. I remember, and then I know I won't do anything to her at all.

    "I'm sorry, Ahiru." I take the duck in my hands - she's shaking. "I won't cast you out, ever."

    "Qu...ack..."

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    "Love-love-love-love-love-love-zura!"

    After that incident, Uzura had completely vanished. Her voice still echoes in my dreams - her childish voice, her big dark blue eyes staring at Ahiru with an odd fascination. A child's fascination. She had been one of his creations, like Mute.

    Drosselmeyer's creation.

    He had made a story out of this town. He had created the prince and the raven, the princess and the knight. While the former two survived, stabbing and biting and slashing at each other centuries after centuries, the latter two had died - and their roles had been forced onto us - on Ahiru, and on me, and who knows how many others?

    "Qu...a...ck."

    Ahiru's dying. She'd had an unnatural lifespan for a duck - I'm glad I'd had that much time with her, even though she doesn't remember me. Even if she doesn't remember being Ahiru.

    I'm turning sixty now. I have no regrets living my life as I have done. All I want to know is why? Why did that storyteller pull Mute into the world? Why did he push the role of Princess Tutu on an innocent duck?

    Why, and when did I fall in love with Ahiru?

    "Hey."

    "What?"

    "Uzura handed this to me yesterday."

    "Ah...ah! I didn't write that, Lilie and Pike wrote it for me!"

    I remember Lilie and Pike. Neither of them had properly graduated from ballet school. Lilie couldn't because her sadistic streak was too much for her partners to bear, and Pike because she had developed a sudden interest in flowers and dropped out. Neither of them loved Ahiru enough to remember her.

    Not like I did.

    I'm running out of ink. And Ahiru...I want to spend as much time as possible with her before she goes. That beautifully clumsy, kind girl I had once danced with.

    I want to remember her in all her glory.

    -----------------

    The last thing I remember was standing in front of the ballet school, leaning on my cane. The building was shut down - I heard they were going to demolish it, build a courthouse in its place. The place where I and Ahiru had first met.

    I had told the priest I wanted an unnamed gravestone near the lake. I didn't tell him why - that it was because Ahiru was also buried there, by my own hands, a forgotten, unnamed duck.

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    "Hello, Fakia."

    Mute's standing in front of me, a smile lighting up the face I had wanted to strangle for so long. For some reason, I can't summon up the anger necessary to outright kill him for what he's done. Because, in the end, I know it's not really his fault.

    "I want to kill you, Mute."

    "I know."

    "But I can't seem to be able to do so right now. I'll kill you later."

    "Really?"

    He hasn't changed much. "You haven't grown old at all, Mute."

    "Neither have you, then, Fakia."

    I look down at my hands - with a jolt, I realise I'm wearing my ballet school uniform.

    "Where am I, Mute?"

    He only smiles. "Where dreams become reality, Fakia."

    "Wha...?"

    The fog disappears - and with it, he's gone too. And then, I see her.

    "Ahiru?"

    "Fakia. Welcome home." She smiles.

    And for the first time in years, I smile as well.