• I'll Change My Road


    Here I stand. The long road ahead of me. I take my first steps into life. It's pretty easy. I glance to my right. I glance to my left. The hands of my parents grasp mine firmly. I smile. I feel loved and cared for. It's a nice life I have here. How stupid I was.

    As I walk further down my road, a hand disappears. I search franticly for my fathers hand. There it is! Mommy, let's go to daddy! Mommy? Mommy, why are you crying? I look at my father. Or at least, where he should've been standing. I feel cold all of a sudden. My soul is a little colder inside.

    I walk on. My mother let's go of my hand and walks ahead of me. I feel alone. My soul is a littler colder inside. My friends paths are father away from mine. It hurts to walk now. It hurts to even cry. The lump in my throat is swelling. I still manage to walk ahead.

    I'm fourteen now. There are no crossroads on my path. There's a dense layer of smoke surrounding me. I look at all the other paths. Smiles. Laughs. Hugs and kisses. I want to gag myself, to be with my father and mother again. I inhale the smog around me. My nerves calm down a bit.

    I'm sixteen now. It's gotten worse. I cough a lot now. That heavy layer of smoke is killing me, yet I ignore it. I know I shouldn't, but do I really have a choice anymore? No. Not anymore. I used to but it's much too late now.

    I look up ahead. I'm a bit surprised. A crossroad? Someone wants to talk to me? Maybe they just want to ask a question like how to get to the subway or what is the time. Like anyone would want to be around me. I've been alone since I was twelve.

    I can see the person coming to me. He's just waiting at the crossroad. He's smiling at me. I stop walking. This is starting to creep me out. What do I say? Snap out of it Kat. Just act cool. That's what you've always done.

    "Hey there. I'm new here. My name's Zeke. What's your name?" This kid sure is peppy for a sixteen-year-old. I don't respond to his question. He's walking with me. What in the world? Doesn't he know who I am? I smack my forehead. Of course not, he just asked.

    "You don't have to answer. I get it. I'm kind of a strange person. I'm actually surprised you haven't punched me yet," he laughed. What does he mean by that? I looked at him closely. A black eye. A good scar across his neck. Scars. This kid was abused. Is that he came to me? Because I'm the . . . . the same way?

    "Not everyone wants to hurt you," I say to him. It was silent a moment. Then, arms wrapped around me. I stop walking. And so does he. What is this feeling inside me? I've . . . . never felt this way before. Wait a minute . . . I have felt this before. It's just been much too long.

    It was the first thing to influence me in a good four years. And I liked it. The smoke slowly cleared away from me. That boy's road slowly merged with mine as we walked on the path of life. He helped me. In return, I helped him. It was strange, but we mended each other's lives back together. It was a good feeling. The gray clouds around slowly disappeared as I held his hand in mine.

    I'm twenty-six now. Ten years have passed and my health is better than ever. "The stars is beautiful tonight," whispers Zeke. I smile softly. They sure were beautiful tonight. It had been ages since I've seen a night like this. It was really nice to spend it with someone special too.

    "Hey, Catherine? Can we get married?" I looked up at my lover with a smile as he slipped a ring silently onto my finger. I embraced him tightly. It was a moment to remember for the rest of my life. "Yes, my love. We can get married.

    As the years went on, our paths had become one for eternity. And soon, a new path emerged from our own. But this time, I'm not going to be like my mother. I'm not going to make the same mistake. No, not this time. Instead, I hold tightly onto my daughter's and husband's hand.

    I'm not letting go.


    Ever.