• “I can’t do this anymore.”

    I felt this coming a mile away, and yet even these expected words cause my breath to catch -

    “Why not?”

    - but you won’t tell me the truth, because all you do is lie to me, and yet I’ve loved you from day one, uncritically, irrevocably; I worship you, and yet if you asked me why, I couldn’t tell you -

    “Because it’s wrong, you’re too young - ”

    - but you’ll never ask me why, you’ll just reject it and push me away and make excuses and sometimes I just can’t take it because you’re such a goddamned coward and I wish you would just take a flying leap, because I don’t know why you can’t trust me even when I’m holding your hand and jumping with you -

    “ - and I don’t deserve you, you’re so perfect and I’m a lying - ”

    - and yet you’re holding on anyway, toes over the edge as your mind is running a mile a minute, and I know you want to and you just can’t, because you’re looking down instead of just closing your eyes and trusting that I love you -

    “ - coward who can’t take the pressure - ”

    - but you’re tired of this, you’d rather go back to when everything was simple, when I wasn’t a part of your life, but I just can’t let you go -

    “ - and I don’t want you to get hurt, because - ”

    - and though you speak of pain, my pain, if you leave the pain will be unbearable, because you’ve stolen my heart and I can’t get it back; you’ve taken everything from me -

    “Why?!”

    - my heart, my innocence, my future, my reason to live; my life has been completely consumed by you, you invade my mind every moment, until all I can see is your face, but I’m not - scared, or - angry, I can’t be -

    “ - because I love you!”

    - and that’s a lie, a blatant lie shouted only to shut me up, shut me out, but I won’t leave without the truth, and I don’t know why you won’t tell it to me -

    “Liar.”

    - because I’m not a child anymore, I understand how the world works and why we can’t be together, but I don’t care anymore, and you still do, but just jump with me -

    “I’m - not - lying.”

    - but then -

    “If you loved me, you’d - stay, and - ”

    - if you did -

    “But I can’t, because - I’m just so damn - scared…”

    - would we -

    “Then won’t you hold my hand, and just - trust this. Nothing else matters, just you, and me, and this, and us. I’m - scared, but I love you, and I trust that - so please just hold my hand and let go of - everything else because - I love you - ”

    - won’t we -

    “But I’m so - scared, and what happens if we - if we - ”

    - fall?