• The rain poured down on the trailer, making the night seem scarier the intended to be. Brooke cuddled deeply under her covers, trying to think about something other then her wild mother out and about. She inhaled deeply of the soothing smell of her pillow, it smelt of her mother. She missed her mother more then normal teens would, possibly because her mother was always out. Drinking, probably having sex with a random guy just to get a lie of affection. Sick, she thought. But no matter how much she hated her, the more she loved her mother.
    She flinched at the sound of a car door closing, and laughter. Two laughs. One female, her mother, and one she didn’t know, a random guy. “God damn it mom..” Brooke jumped madly out of the comfort of her bed, and into the coldness of her house. She put on her robe. Brooke stood by the door way outside, tapping her foot impatiently, waiting to see who the new guy was. Her mother jumped back when she saw Brooke,” Honey...you-scared..” She burped, and said a unclear ‘excuse me’. Apparently, she was drunk off her a**. “This is...uh...” The man was then in sight, very handsome actually. Tall, dark, and handsome. Mom’s favorite, she would say. The guy waved a bit, ”I’m Alex..”
    Oddly, he was not drunk, or so she thought. “I hope you do not mind little lady if I could stay the night.” He winked, Brooke curled her lip into a smug frown. “I don’t…really care.” She added, and smiled meanly at her drunken mother, “But, don’t forget to use protection. I would hate to see my mom get another abortion. AGAIN.” She stormed inside, to her room. She didn’t cry, but did throw a china doll her mother gave her. The shatter made her feel better, almost like the precious china was her mother. She wanted to yell at them, tell them she was there...and she was not happy. Brooke growled, and kicked at her bed post. No one cares here. Just no one… ********… I… WHY…. God… why God… I need…. ******** s**t… Her mind was a cloud of hate, and hurt. And some how abandonment. She wanted to cry… but held it in… crying… a weakness. Leave. I have to leave…Call…Grandma
    She could just go live with her grandmother. “She would let me. She knows how mom is...” Sloppily she reached under the old bed, and retrieved a luggage bag, then without knowing what clothes, are under wear she might grab, dumped each drawer of clothes into it. She then tip toed out of her room to the bathroom. She grabbed all the essentials.
    The rain seemed to pour down harder every time she would place things in her trunk. Any minute now she would her the disgusting sounds of what her mom had brought the man to do. Hissing, she took a very large umbrella, luggage bag and her mom’s cell phone and credit card “Pay back..” She would quite enjoy running her bill up. She opened the door quietly, then opened up the umbrella. The rain stopped raining as hard as it was, it started drizzling. She opened up the flip cell phone, and dialed her grandmother’s number. The ringing seemed awkward, but hopeful. The old fragile women she called grandmother answered with a sleepy, “Hello?”
    “Grandma? Its me…Brooke…can I stay with you for awhile?” The grandmother was quiet for a bit, then answered,” Yes, I was waiting for you to ask me that. I was going to ask your mother if I could keep you until…she would get her act together. So, where are you?”
    Brooke sighed, “In front of my house, if it is not too much to ask for, could you come pick me up…now?”
    “Oh! Of course darling, you just wait there! So soon.. but…”
    Her grandmother’s happiness relieved her, it wasn’t just herself that knew the atmosphere of her home. “Okay then grandma, Bye…see you”
    Brooke closed the phone, then closing the umbrella as the rain stopped magically. She looked up at the half clouded sky and wanted something...but did not know what. Perhaps, it was love…she didn’t want to live with her grandma, but it was better then over at her home. The only reason was because a foster kid stayed there. He wasn’t a kid, a teenager. Going over to visit her grandma the first time when he was over there, was awkward. They all sat in her grandmother’s living room, sipping tea, and saying small talk that was pointless. “Brooke, why don’t you and Jonathan go out in the back? Go in the woods maybe? Oh, and just call him john darling.”
    Brooke looked quickly over at the punky, grungy John. Brooke herself liked grunge stuff…but he was…over the top with it. John spoke for Brooke, “I wouldn’t mind.” He smiled at Brooke, his strange, safety pin pierced bobbled and waved at her.
    Brooke felt sorry for him, always alone(metaphorically) , didn’t really have a real family. But saying that, he reminded her of herself. Only he was way more pitiful-or maybe not. “Sure, why not?” Brooke answered, pulling at her black turtle neck, her tight black pants made her feel uncomfortable, like some one was watching her legs. He stood up, and did a check over on her body... She stood up too, feeling even more uncomfortable...

    Brooke was too engrossed in her day dream, that she did not noticed her grandmother driving up in her olds mobile car. Her heart seemed to jump out of her skin, John’ was in the front seat of the car. He smiled grimly at her…

    John’ went outside first, waiting for her by holding the door open. Brooke smiled at him, and murmured, “Thanks..” He nodded, his safety pin piercing gleamed in the morning sunlight. She walked in front of him, feeling his stare “So, Brooke, what grade you in?” He trotted next to her, he glanced at her body again, like he just needed to look again.
    She answered, trying, oh so trying to ignore his stares, “ Tenth, you?” He laughed dryly, “Same here. I guess I am, see, I’m home schooled. Got kicked out.” She raised her eyebrows, ‘I wonder why’ she thought hatefully. John dug his hands inside his jacket’s pockets. As they reached the dark woods that filled her grandmother’s land, she pointed to the frilly picnic table, “Can we, just sit on the picnic table?”
    “Your grandmother, NO offense, has bad taste.” He laughed, she didn’t. He cocked his head at her, expecting a laugh. “You aren’t very social, Brooke.” He said her name so…loving. It made her feel...strange. She answered as she sat on the table, legs crossed. “Well, I don’t know you. So of course I wont be so social.”
    “Oh, yeah true, true...your name doesn’t fit your personality…”
    “ You don’t know me, how can you tell what I’m like?”
    He laughed, and brought out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket, laughing, “you don’t mind if I-“
    “No…I am used to it.” Thinking of her mom as she said it. He nodded, lighting the cigarette, before he toke a drag he said, “Cool, cool. Well, not to judge you, you know. But, I can totally tell you and your mom...aren’t so close.” She licked her lips, ‘does he ever stop getting in anyone’s business?’ She flicked at a ant on the table, “We used to be close. Well, if you call…” Brooke didn’t finish.
    “I see...” She rolled her eyes, he was just like any other grunge, seemingly so smart just because he was ‘different.’ She wrapped her arms around her chest, feeling like her body was out in the open, she felt that way about guys.
    “Hey, want to go in the woods? I have been in there, very pretty forest...” He said ‘pretty’ with a smile, looking at her. She pressed her lips, “Yeah, its sort of pretty I guess.” He got up, , taking a long drag, and then flinging the roach on to the ground, “Well then, lets go. Your grandma told me there is a stream around the back of her land?”
    “Yeah...there is.” She joined up with him at the edge of the woods, with a grim expression, looking at his very bleach blonde hair that covered, as she could see, green eyes, and then reach the end of his ears. A neon green bennie lay on top of his head…

    As she got in the back of her grandmother’s car, she could hear john turning on some light screamo, “Long time, no see, eh Brooke?” she could hear his smile in his voice, she shivered, “I suppose.” She got in the seat behind her grandmother, not wanting to be by him.
    “Hey, Miss Carol, how long is she staying with us?” Brooke wanted to punch him for saying that, how dare he! It should be more like he the nuisance.
    Her Grandmother smiled, “Well, as long as her mother can learn responsibility. Knowing my daughter, that may take along time.”
    He smiled darkly, “Oh, Brooke me and you well be going to the same school. Same grade, 11th... you know, I finally get to go to school. Told the nuns I wanted to repent… Let me in to the place.”
    “Cool..” she didn’t really care, she was too worried about staying with him, and about her mother. Her mother may not last a few days without Brooke’s responsible ways. And might just her mom call the police about her leaving. Or maybe celebrate. Oh ******** it, she thought, she can just go suck on a d**k.

    “Ow...s**t!” Brooke took out a huge thorn from her arm, luckily her sweater was okay. He edged closer, “You okay?”
    She answered with a gruff, “Yeah, I’m okay...”. She did a mental shove to him. He nodded his head too her. He easily jumped over sticks, and bushes.
    “Show off..” She whispered. He heard it, then laughed, “show off am I? Well, who wouldn’t show off to you?” He went serious, “Your really beautiful.”
    Her eyes grew large, “What?” No one has ever said that to her. People might call her hot, or cute, but never beautiful.
    That word was only meant, to her, what family members would say.
    “Sorry, I had to say it, I say what I think. Got to excuse me for it.” She blushed widely...dumbstruck. She and him where silent. Birds far off chirped and fluttered, the trees rustled.
    “Sorry...But, girls who really are beautiful, need to know it. Most girls spend their whole life without knowing it.” She looked at him with grace, she never knew a guy to be so...she didn’t know the word. WAIT, she told herself. “You are just telling me this to get in my pants, are you?” He swung to her and gave her a look that read, ‘Are you ******** retarded?’
    “ Why the ******** would you think that? Hell, though, if we all want to be honest here.”
    She flinched at the remark.
    “I’m sorry Brooke, but I’m not like other guys who are like that. I have control over my hormones.” She busted out laughing, the remarked “How stupid can that get?”
    He looked like he was slapped in the face, and kneeled by a tree. She held her hands together, “I’m sorry..” He looked up at the sky, “Yeah its okay...” She felt so bad now, like a hypocrite. She looked up at sky, too, but it seemed that they were looking at a different sky. A different time..
    She looked down at the ground, focusing on a stick with a lady big on it. She heard a swift of air, she looked up and saw John, coming toward her, she shrieked, but was silenced as his cold lips touched hers. He must of took off the safety pin off, she could not feel it. He grasped her head, and let his lips pluck at hers, and entwined. She didn’t resist it.

    Surprisingly, John was wearing his safety pin lip piercing, despite the time of night. He was wearing his pajama, plaids and a white sleeveless top. Brooke felt so exposed, she was not wearing a bra.
    “Well, how exciting, eh Brooke?” she looked up at her grandma, “what?” Her grandmother smirked playfully, “That you and John will be going to school together, he will need some friends, his old friends I do not approve of..” John laughed, and rolled his eyes, shacking his head,” I will still hang with them. Oh, and Brooke you like screamo right?”
    Her eyes twinkled when a car’s head light’s caught her blue-green eyes, “No… More of nineties rock…”
    “Awesome, you’ll like my friends, they are all in a band.” He didn’t even bother to acknowledge her answer.

    The two slipped down into the earth, the kissing started to get more intense, John started slipping the tongue, making her start to feel things she didn’t want to. But she kissed back, her mind yelling STOP! But her body saying, yes.
    Her mind prevailed, and she took her hands, and shoved him off of her. “We need to stop,” She said, and wiped her mouth, and noticed annoyingly that her pant’s zipper was undone. Sneaky son-of-a-b***h.
    He looked a little mad, his little make out session being stopped. “You ******** said you didn’t want to get in my ******** pants, yet you were undoing them! What the ********!” He seemed more out raged, yet intrigued, “******** you! You didn’t seem to mind! ********! Whats your issue?”
    Brooke edged towards a near tree’s base, and leaned back, trying not to make eye contact. “My idea of fun doesn’t involve ********. I mean…” He looked into her eyes, but she did not return the gaze.
    “You’re a virgin,” He asked, more like stated to her. He seemed to calm a little down.


    The rest of the car ride was silent, except for john’s music, and her grandmother’s usual remarks on people’s yards and lives.
    Once or twice John would turn around and look at her, trying to make some sort of conversation.
    But she would not talk to him. What would she say? Yeah, my mom’s a whore, a drunk, that’s why I am here…
    ******** it, was really her mental answer.
    “Here we are!” Which, Brooke knew, meant they arrived at her Grandmother’s house. Finally, they reached the home.
    Finally, she could sleep off her night’s troubles.
    Grandma stopped her before she got out though, “ Oh, since John recedes in the quest room, you will be in the living room. On the couch.”
    A cold stare she gave to john.

    Her breath stopped short, she some how thought that remark as being… very awkward, she was some how ashamed of her purity.
    “Yes… I don’t see how the hell that fits into this.” She flicked her long, layered dark brown hair from her face. Her fists pounded on the leaf ground.
    “Because- girls who are virgins are a little skittish when they make out and s**t.” Answering this he walked to sit by here, but kept at a distance.
    “I’ll say it again, does it matter? Wait, like… no! you wanted to have sex with me! No other reason you would unzip my friggen pants!”
    A bird from a head bickered at them, wanting to know why they disturbed the morning.
    “Dude! Have you ever heard of oral?” John talked to her like she was 10, no ******** duh she heard of it.
    “That’s even more messed up!” She leaned towards him, most defiantly ready to give him a lecture, “ Don’t tell a girl you don’t want to sleep with her, or don’t have any plans like that, and then start kissing her and making a move. Makes you seem sleazy!” And, having felt she gave him some sort of effect, stood up, and begin walking home.
    But he wasn’t done. “ Oh once again, ******** you! Don’t start kissing the guy back if he says that! Makes you seem easy, and slutty!”


    John watched her unpack, and lay things in the bathroom’s cabinets. He had such a smug smile on his face. No bra on, no bra on, was that ran through her mind. He was probably getting hard or some sick s**t right now.
    “Please leave.” She told him, in a firm voice laying her hands across her chest.
    “How big your boobs?” He was pushing her buttons. “Leave-now!” She put her arm on his shoulder and pushed him out, and John just laughing away,
    “Brooke, c’mon.. tell me… I don’t mind that the dogs are out!”
    She shut the door on his face, and continued her work. Now and again she would glance at herself in the mirror, and see her insomnia in her eyes.
    She would glance at herself and wonder, ‘Why is it always the wrong things that tell you the right things?’ Why cant I be-this-or that. She wanted to cry, but didn’t.
    She brushed her teeth, and washed her face.
    Brooke opened the door, and who just happened to stand there, John. “Sleep with me tonight,” he told her, with a smooth tone. “I want make a move. That couch isn’t that comfortable..”
    She stopped him, “Whats your deal? Seriously. Leave me be, alright. I-I just need to recollect myself until school starts, and, your messing and playing around just isn’t going to work.”
    “Pissy, pissy! But, hey, when old grandma sleeps, me and some friends are going to see some local band. Wanna go?”
    “No.” She answered sternly, and turned on her heels to the couch. He followed and smiled at her hair. “You’ll go,” he told her.
    She turned towards the hallway and saw her grandmother shut her door, the lights turn off.
    She looked up into his eyes, he really wanted something with her. From her, or something she had to give to him.
    She wouldn’t do any of it for him.
    “I am not going tonight, I need to get back to sleeping. Another night, maybe.”
    He smiled a bit and sat next to her on the couch, and picked at the old quilt on it. “I’m sorry about the last time we met. Don’t hate me for it. I just- you over whelm me-“
    “You don’t know me”
    “And? So! ******** it if I don’t know you!”
    “Keep it down!” She whined a little and stared at the blank T.V screen.
    “I felt a connection with you and-”
    “don’t start, please, I beg you don’t start crap like that.” She flung herself into the blanket, and would have though, ‘he is ******** crazy!’
    “Leave,” she told him into the blankets. He lay his head on her back, and sat on the ground besides the couch. “your amazing.” He whispered, and leaved.



    Later that night Brooke got up from the couch, and went into the quest bed room, now John’s room. She went in, closing the door behind her, and slunk into his bed. He looked at her when she pulled the covers on top of her.
    Her face showed grief and hurt, she needed to cry.
    He reached for her, and wrapped his arms around her, “Hey, its okay. What ever it is, it is okay. You can cry now…” And she did cry, let it all out, she would baffle and say things she never told anyone else, and he cried with her too, and shared his grief and of hurt.


    John woke with a thin stream of sun upon his eye, and felt someone in his arms, and looked beside him.
    Her poor pillow lay wet with tears. Knowing her she will deny this, so he picked her up, and took her to lay her back on the couch.
    He felt a haunt of the things he told her, and he wanted to kill a few guys at the moment, but knew it wouldn’t solve anything.
    This girl, he thought, I must know more.
    Her Grandmother was already at work, it now being 7:00. So he sat and watched her, wondering what she thought, how she thought. What will she do next.
    “I need a smoke…” John picked up his bag that lay by the front door, and went outside to the front porch.
    Lighting a cigarette, he looked at his phone.
    “******** show.” About 20 missed calls of his friends calling him and asking him where he was. Whatever though, there will be more shows.
    After his fifth drag, the screen door open, and Brooke came outside, her hair barely messed up. John’s hair wasn’t so lucky.
    She stared at him for a while, finally she said, “ Sometimes people are so over whelmed with s**t… they forget where their at, and who their with. All they want is answers.”
    He smirked, and pushed his cigarette in the flower bed, “ So that was what the deal was last night?”
    “Are you Bi-polar?” She was serious, and he was now, too.
    “Maniac Depressive. I ******** hate taking the pills for it, so… Here I am, raw and crazy.” She smiled and went in side, murmuring, “Lovely.” Of sarcastic.
    Brooke looked back at the front window, the shades slit so she could see him smoking. She hated him for hearing what she said, why couldn’t someone else here it.