Stephano Hungary: Hello everyone, it’s time for another Death Note Spoof! I think that Mello was inspired by L’s unhealthy eating habits…Or L doesn’t like chocolate that much and Mello found is own weird habit like Near and L.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Death Note, chocolate, or Spongebob Squarepants. (If you’ve seen the episode where Spongebob and Patrick are selling chocolate, you’ll know.)
Ah, Valentine’s Day, Mello’s favorite day, the smell of chocolate in the air was enough to satisfy Mello for the rest of his life. But sadly, this only happened once a year, so Mello took it in as much as he could and you knew what that meant. That’s right; splurge his entire weekly payment from work on all the chocolate he could eat. ‘I’m gonna eat so much chocolate that I’ll be diabetic by 7:00 tonight!’ Mello thought while munching on a bar of Hershey’s chocolate.
After finishing the tasty treat, Mello took out a piece of paper and crossed out another brand of chocolate on his list of chocolates to eat with a pencil. He then looked at the last variety of chocolate he had yet to try, ah yes, the most delicious chocolate of mankind, in Mello’s eyes mind you; it was the gracious Godiva chocolates. Although it sucked because no matter how many stores Mello went in, none of them had Godiva chocolates since everyone had purchased them the night before or today for Valentine’s Day gifts.
With that Mello left the last chocolate shop in the city with his head hung low in disappointment. Poor Mello, maybe something will cheer him up on this happy day, speaking of happy, let’s see what Misa’s doing this Valentine’s Day.
In the park Misa and Light were sitting happily on a bench under a sakura tree. Oh wait, scratch that, Misa was sitting happily since she was glomping Light’s arm in glee. ‘Jeez, how am I suppose to get this chick off me?...Maybe I could give her that chocolate in my backpack, and while she’s distracted I’ll haul a** out of this place.’ Light thought while smirking in anticipation. “Hey Misa, want some chocolate?” Light asked while digging through his backpack. “Misa would love chocolate. And since its Valentine’s Day the chocolate means even more to Misa!” she replied as she clapped her hands hastily.
Light pulled out the pink heart-shaped box and lifted the lid, “Oooh, those are Godiva chocolates aren’t they Light?” Misa asked with her hand reaching into the box to fish out a piece of chocolate. “Yes they are, and this was the last box in the store too so I hope you enjoy it.” Light said while joining in with Misa on her chocolate binge.
Too bad for those two, Mello had a keen nose for chocolate, and my keen I mean he could smell chocolate and recognize the brand from half a mile away. While Mello was walking a familiar scent flew under his nose causing him to sniff the air. “Chocolate…Godiva chocolate?” That’s when Mello’s head did a complete 180 degrees and his right eye started to twitch. “Chocolate! Chocolate!-gasps-CHOCOLAAAAATE!!!!! CHOCOLAAAAATE!!!!” Mello shouted to the heavens as he sprinted towards Light and Misa while cutting down whoever stood in his way with a knife.
“Oh my god, Jason!!!” A girl yelled as her boyfriend was cut in half and spewed out blood. “…He never gave me my Valentine’s Day card!”(Obnoxious much?)
When Light took a bite into another piece of chocolate he and Misa turned to their right to see what the disturbance in the area was since everyone was screaming. Immediately they saw a psycho Mello running full speed at them with a knife and screaming chocolate. Light recognized Mello from an earlier encounter and started to freak out, ‘What if he knows that I’m Kira? This is bad; this is really, really bad!’ Light thought. Again Light started to have no common sense whatsoever and ran like hell in the opposite direction of Mello with chocolates in hand.
“CHOCOLAAAAATE!!!” Mello ran by Misa quickly chasing after Light, who has still misplaced his marbles and is continuing to run with the chocolate. Misa turned around and said, “Wow, that was weird wasn’t it Light?”… “Light?” Misa asked while looking around the park, “Misa wasn’t finished eating the chocolate!!! WAAAAH!!!” Misa cried.
“CHOCOLAAAATE!!! CHOCOLAAAAATE!!! CHOCOLAAAAATE!!!!CHOCOLAAAAATE!!!!” Mello screamed, still slashing down people in his path chasing after his precious Godiva chocolates. Light, who has still not dropped the chocolate, was running like the devil was on his heels trying to get away from Mello. When Light didn’t want to get other people involved in the situation he ran down an alley looking for another way to escape Mello’s wrath. “CHOCOLAAATE!!!” screeched Mello as he went down the same alley way as Light.
After running for a few minutes Light started to get tired, and to make things worse, he was at a dead end. “Chocolate!” Light jumped and turned around to face a demented looking Mello with bloody knife in hand. “FINALLY!” Light fell to the ground and crawled into the corner, ‘This is it…I’m really going to die.’ He thought. “Now that I’ve got you where I want you,” Light shut his eyes in anticipation, “I’d like to buy your chocolate from you.” Mello said cheerily as he pulled out 10 dollars.
Light opened his eyes in disbelief, “You want to buy my chocolate?” Light asked while looking down at the pink box in his hand. “Yep!” Mello replied. “…Okay.” Light gave Mello the box and took the ten dollars, then Light hauled a** out of there. Why you ask? Well you see Misa and Light had eaten all of the chocolate in the box, so there was none left, and that’s why Light got the hell out of there before he was met face to face with Mello’s wrath. “Finally, I can have my precious…chocolate?” When Mello opened the box there were only scraps of the wrapping paper and crumbs of chocolate.
Oh yeah, Mello was pissed. Mello’s eyes started to twitch again and he cracked his neck a few times while doing another 180 with his head. “CHOCOLAAAATE!!!!” And with that Mello ran out of the alley to find Light thinking that he had some more of the Godiva chocolates.
While looking up and down the sidewalks, Misa happened to walk by, and as a bonus, she was eating Godiva chocolates. “Being a celebrity certainly has its advantages.” “CHOCOLATE!!!” Mello screamed as he pounced on Misa. “AAAA-gurgle!” Misa yelled…or half-yelled since her throat was slit just as she was about to take a bite out of another piece of chocolate. Mello picked up Misa’s chocolate box and took out the candy and bite into it. “Mmmm…chocolate.” Mello murmured in a daze as he walked back to his and Matt’s apartment in bliss.
And the moral of the story is, “Don’t let a craving get to you so much that it turns into an obsession.” Also, "Say no to necrophilia."
Stephano Hungary: You know, I wish that would happen in Death Note, and when it does, I’m gonna laugh my a** off.
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