Unfettered

• Artist: wickedevilgirl0616
• Description: I wrote this story to bring out an emotion without telling you what it is. So can you guess right?
  
  
• Date: 01/31/2009
• Tags: unfettered

A man of bark skin walked along the hollow path of darkness. His bristly beige trench coat held tight to his tattered face as he slowly limped his way through. His ragged soggy boots sloshed as they made contact with the rough road below. The muscles of his body tore lightly with every movement along with his creaking bones and joints.

“Where are you going sir?” a man nearby squalled.

The drenched man made no hesitation to stop for the other. His coal eyes stayed focus on the setting horizon like an observer of art. Below his eyes were trails of salty rivers that cascaded down his sunken face.

The man continued to jaunt through the darkness. His mind unfettered in what was happening simultaneously. Around him gunfire could be heard as hell persisted in rising again. The sandy grounds were submerged in a sea of crimson liquid. The cries and yells of men and women alike rang out not entering the man's eclipse of a mind.

“Help us!” they shrieked as the roar of fire drowned there groans.

Again, the man made no falter in his movement. He only left the torn world behind him with no hope in returning. The beat of his heart hindered as he progressed through the darkening path.

Comments

[Catarina Una]

Surrender and defeat. sad
There aren't many errors, just a few plurals missing. Sad, but intriguing to read! Keep it up.

[belladonna32]

There's potential, but you have many grammatical errors as well as spelling errors... they may not seem significant, but they can really change the reader's perception of the story. Also, your word choices could be better.