Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals


View User's Journal

Report This Entry Subscribe to this Journal
private property

Community Member
What is Beautiful?

I have a person whom I love very much, and I'm certain she loves me too. It's just that when I'm around other people with her, I feel like the ugliest person ever. I've had to suffer from depression and heartbreak my entire life, and I thought I had found someone special once. The person whom I gave my heart to, was not so inclined to feel the same for me. They left me without explanation and I've spent the better part of five or six years trying to recover from it, and to get over my broken heart. Now that I'm in a new relationship, I worry all the time about whether I'm actually pretty enough for my partner. Though on multiple occasions she has told that she thinks I'm beautiful, I'm having a hard time believing it. These multiple insecurities have led to many a fight, and I'm worried that maybe I still have some things that haven't been dealt with. It's not that I don't love the person I'm with, it's that I'm wondering if I'm still in love with my previous boyfriend. Even at the mention of his name, I can feel my heart start to do funny things. I recently heard a rumor that he will be attending my current high school, and if that's the case I wonder if I'm ready to face him. I feel inadequate when others around, and especially ugly. Sometimes I just wish I had a different body. Or that I was thinner or prettier. I just wish I was beautiful.


Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum