Pitter Patter

• Artist: Tapteamgirl
• Description: My cousin (she's 10) begged me for at least 30 minutes to post her poem. Tell me how it is. Please be respectful. This is her first poem so please please please be nice and give her some helpful hints.
• Date: 07/10/2012
• Tags: pitter patter

Pitter Patter

Pitter Patter went the rain drumming on my roof
The sweet music lulling me into a dreaming state
Pitter Patter went the rain as it splashed against my window
Casting an ark of dancing colors through my window at a slow rate
Pitter Patter went the rain running off into the street
Washing away all the hate in the world and leaving sweet relief
Pitter Patter went the rain as it dripped from my skin
Leaving me wet & cold but happy as can be
Pitter Patter went the rain as it drifted away
Promising to come back again some day. emotion_sweatdrop

Comments

[Melodee Lee]

If she really did write this, then the little girl is talented indeed. She'll need to work on her rhyming in the future though.

[Slinkenhofer]

I can honestly say this is better than about 90% of the writers on this site.

[3SetoKaiba]

does she 10 years old.
amazing wink .
talent girl.
Nice poem.
the rhyme is good.
the meaning is good.
but I think it is not good to make each line the same.
I think it is better to change some of "Pitter Patter".
this is just my opinion.
Good luck wink