• Cuz I write pretty cute songs for my girlfriend
    And pretend that days like these will never end
    My Southern accent shows when I'm excited
    I'm punk rock with a bit of modern trend.

    ‎I write anti-folk songs in the ev'nin
    and drive to places that I've never been
    I always have Apples to Apples in my backseat
    We can play together, but I always win

    ‎I have read the Bible and the Vedas
    Blown kisses and staged protests for a cause
    I guess I may not be you're average poet
    but I'm the cutest Keynesianist there ever was.

    ‎I'm afraid of roosters, stairs, and failure
    and wonder if Taylor Swift knows I love her
    My maltese-poodle mix loves watching 30Rock
    His name is Fuzz and he says 'Bark, arf, grrr!'

    I once fell in a pond out by New Orleans
    I was kissing a princess who thought she was a Queen
    We stripped off our wet clothes cuz it was cold out
    And warmed up pretty quick if you know what I mean

    ‎I've known my good friend Alex since the 8th grade
    We were always scolded for the games we played
    Me and Kristy were the lost kids of Valrico
    so we'd laugh at all the messes that we made.

    ‎My first crush went by the name of Chelsea
    The memory of missed chances haunted me
    I loved a thousand more since I had met her
    But I forgot em all when I met Katelyn Kennedy

    ‎I have cruel dictators on my Friend's List
    Each one with ancient scars across their wrists
    They may not be the brightest in the crayon box
    But they rule their countries with an iron fist

    ‎Mrs. Kaminski showed me the terror of Bolvangar
    Helped me travel to magic lands both near and far
    It was there I learned to read the alethiometer
    And navigate my way by the Northern Star.

    ‎My Charizard will toast you with his fire
    And fly so fast that he looks like a blur
    If you don't believe me than I'll show you
    and you can go 'Doubt Truth to be a Liar.'