• I am in MY a tunnel...a dark, dark tunnel...
    This tunnel is more like a sewer
    I cant hear, because music, heartbreaking music is playing all around.
    I couldn't hear anything, even if I tried to. Even if I wanted to.
    Every so often, the music changes...it becomes faster, louder...angry music...screaming music.
    I cant hear anything. I'm lost, but I couldn't hear if anyone was calling out to me.
    In a small corner of this loud, morbid dark tunnel, am I.
    I sit there, all hunched over, arms wrapped around my legs, in a ball. All curled up. Safe?
    No. But I feel as if the music, the darkness, actually keeps out the monsters.
    Keeps out the bad things. Feelings, emotions...
    Twisted, in my little, shrunken head.
    The thing about my tunnel, my dark hole, pit...is...
    I don't even try to leave. I don't wander about aimlessly...
    I don't try to search for a way out.
    I don't attempt to open any doors, but stay in a deeper part of the tunnel. Away from any doors...
    And possible light...
    Afraid? Perhaps...
    Twistedly thinking the darkness will ease pain...
    will keep monsters away.
    Its comforting...
    Though lonely.
    But I like lonely.
    It means to heart eating monsters...
    No more pain.
    Just emptiness...
    Deranged thoughts...
    Just me and my darkness, my tunnel.
    Me and myself.
    Once in a while...
    I think to myself, sitting there, hunched over...hugging my knees in fear,
    That I would like a bit of quietness....
    A change in music...
    A change in scenery...
    A possibly way out....
    Some light? I've heard of it....but tasted, oh, so little.
    Why? Because I was too comfortable in my ball. Too scared to move ...to get up and wander about....to search for a way out.
    Just frozen...in the same place...forever.
    I don't care to be brave.
    Over and over and over again.
    The music changes, the songs change...
    But there I often am...
    I'm afraid...I don't want to step in a hole....to get lost ever deeper...
    To be bitten, stabbed again....
    The light doesn't always seem so bright....
    But its been so long I cant remember.
    Huddled there, in my sad, sad state of being...in that dark, cold, wet, comforting place.
    Away from the monsters?
    Maybe the monster is myself.