• i awaken to the freshly fallen snow
    i take in its fresh scent
    taking in to crisp smell.
    over inthe next room the, chocolate chip cookies are rising in tho oven.
    in the barn the cows being miked.
    freshly baked cookies, and freshly squeezed milk for Santy Clause.

    Christmas Eve.
    todays the day i sit with Santy and whisper in his ear,
    what i always wanted.
    we pile into the second hand car daddy drives,
    a pine tree scented airfreshener on the reveiw mirror.
    "all in good tidings" as he used to say.

    in the mall we wait in line.
    my high school friends point and laugh as i wait in line with my siblings.
    "you still belive in a fat man coming down your chiminey?" the chided to me,
    "he is and always will be the spirit of Christmas" i whisper back.
    they walk away, knowing the battle was lost.

    Christmas Eve,
    the day that some men stuff tehir bellies with pillows.
    this guy didnt.
    the day that some guys put on fake beards.
    this guy didnt.
    the day where make up make their dimples like roses and noses like cherries.
    this guy didnt.
    i sat on his lap, with all of my sixteen years.
    smiling like my grandfrather used to he asked me,
    " what would you like for Christmas young lady?"
    i simply replied, "forgivness sir."

    Christmas Eve Night.
    tonight up goes the fake tree,
    and on goes the lights.
    then our humble little ornaments.
    daddy lets little brother put up the star just like Tiny Tim.
    we all circle around the table and eat a modest feast.
    the one that daddy cooked.

    Christmas Eve Night.
    the dishes are clean and the stockings are hung,
    all is left to do is read Twas the Night Before Christmas,
    lay the cookies on the mantle and go to bed.
    but this was mommy's job.
    and mommy died three months ago.

    the same mommy i faught with over stupid things,
    the mommy i called witch.
    the mommy who always loved me as i called her mean things and did mean things to
    the one i need forgivness from.

    Christmas Eve Night.
    i read the timeless story,
    placed the cookies on the mantle,
    tucked my brothers and sisters in and said goodnight to daddy.
    sleep came easliy to all of them but i sat on the stair well.
    waiting for Jolly Ole Saint Nick.

    Midnight.
    right on cue,
    a clambering on the roof top
    and soot rustled down.
    the same old man from the mall stood before me.
    and said all was forgiven
    that i may rest.

    Christmas Morn.
    In my stocking what i found was
    a photograph of my mommy and i,
    last Christmas, our faces full of cheer.
    I smiled and said out loud.
    "Thanks Santa Clause."