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ashes fall like rain
drowning you
then the bombs drop
and the little ones cry,
poison fills our lungs
one by one we all die.....
- by SuchSweetSorrows |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 05/28/2010 |
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- Title: Ashes
- Artist: SuchSweetSorrows
- Description: .....comment?
- Date: 05/28/2010
- Tags: ashes
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Comments (6 Comments)
- SuchSweetSorrows - 07/19/2010
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thankss daarlin
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- Oreos_areGewd - 07/19/2010
- this is so good smile
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- SuchSweetSorrows - 07/14/2010
- thanks smile
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- lucky_chan1789 - 07/13/2010
- simple....simply excellent C;
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- SuchSweetSorrows - 05/29/2010
- thanks for the imput I'll take it into consideration smile
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- White Apple Fox - 05/29/2010
- I like this. I think the second line could be improved. Ashes make me think of snow and not water so for me I cant get a clear immage. if you use the ashes as snow you can link the immage to the deadly winter, end of spring(life). You can also relate snow to the quiet before a bomb hits because they fall silently. the sound of a bomb would then have more impact. It's a good start. You can do a lot with this poem.
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