• just because her eyes don't tear
    d o e s n ' t , mean her heart ; ;
    doesn't cry . & just because she
    comes off strong doesn't mean
    there's nothing w r o n g * ' x3
    she finally let go of her fake smile as the tears slowly rolled down her face as she whispered to herself "i don't wanna be me"
    always hold your head up high..
    pretend that nothing's wrong at all - close
    your eyes before you fall. if you can't see it.
    it's not there..
    nothing.
    nothing is wrong.
    && asking is against the rules.
    crying is against the rules.
    you're strong.
    don’t let them break you.
    Don`t use excuses.. don`t ask why
    it`s just a breakdown.. happens all the time..
    so get out of my face - don`t even try..
    you wanna help me? .. just let me cry
    Have you ever just sat there & thought..
    why?..
    why did God put me here?
    why do people hate?
    why my life turned out this way?
    why do people want to kill themselves?
    why do i want to kill myself?
    why my life is falling apart?
    why do people love you & then hate you?
    why you care so much about what other people think?
    why did I turn out the way i did?
    start to breathe and fake a smile.. it's all the same after awhile.
    She smiles with all she has left
    yet her tears are left undried,
    though she has so much to say
    she bottles it up inside.
    If you look past her broken eyes
    to a shadow no one sees,
    a disguise so you won’t recognize
    that girl is really me.
    silence is a girls loudest cry

    she sits in the corner
    singing herself to sleep
    wrapped around in promises
    that no one seems to keep

    walking down the hall with her head held high, every hair is in place.
    she sees a friend and waves. wearing a smile on her perfect face friendly, smart, beautiful. everyone adores this girl.. seemingly content head in a while and inside she's unhappy and she doesn’t know why she lays in bad at night and cries she doesn’t know what causes the tears how could this princess have insecurities and fears she has it all. a pretty smile, many friends, a great guy, the newest trends her family has money and she gets good grades. has her own car and ..her make up never fades. always looking happy every single day. but inside she's feeling a different way this wonder girl. she's everyone’s dream but things aren't always what they seem
    I’m a daughter hiding my depression
    I’m a big sister making a good impression
    I’m your friend acting like I’m fine
    I’m a teenager pushing her tears aside
    I’m the girl sitting next to you
    I’m the one asking you to care
    I’m your best friend hoping that you'll be there
    she's deeper than you think.
    she has secrets too
    Do you ever get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody? You don't want to smile and you don't want to fake being happy. But at the same time you don't know exactly what's wrong either. There isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand. If you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. People have stopped being comforting and being along never was. At least when you're alone no one will constantly ask you what is wrong and there isn't anyone who won't take 'I don't know' for an answer. You feel the way you do just because. You hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait.
    even sleeping beauty has nightmares
    It hurts to look at yourself in the mirror and hate yourself, look into the mirror and wonder what ever happened to that smile that used to shine so bright. When you look at yourself, you see this version of "you" that your mind has created, someone that has become so distant and cold that nobody wants to be around her. Empty eyes. Fragile bones. The only thing you have left are the lies you tell yourself everyday to survive, lies that have become your painful reality, lies that will swallow you whole and crush your insides, lies that have turned you into someone you never wanted to be...”
    yeah, I’m okay in an everything's
    screwed up kinda way.

    My dreams tell me secrets
    My mind tells me lies
    My heart screams for help
    My eyes only cry
    Her tongue has bite marks from all the things she didn’t say
    If you’ve ever wished on a star, then you know what its like to be wanting something you can’t have...
    she finally realized;;
    [[all]] of the tears &&
    lies just [weren't]
    worth it anymore
    she finally let go of her fake smile and
    the tears slowly ;; rolled down her face
    as she whispered to h e r s e l f ' *
    I don't want to be me
    Maybe her laughter is a cry for help
    Or her precious smile is a symbol of her insecurities..
    Smile. It's easier than explaining why you're sad

    I’m the girl that holds it all in
    and regrets it all later
    if I added up all the times you made me feel special, and multiplied it by a thousand, it wouldn't even come close to all the times you made me feel like s**t.
    Keep your head up because there are people who would kill to see you fall
    She always loved to help other people;;
    fix their mistakes but she never seemed
    to be able to fix her own.
    I’m not depressed; I just hate everything.
    I’m not a horrible person; I just let everyone down.
    I’m not an outcast; everyone just hates me.
    I’m not in love; I just constantly think of him.
    I’m not a cutter; I just have to slice my wrists.
    I’m not a mistake; I’m just not supposed to be here.
    I’m not suicidal; I just want to die.
    Walk a mile in my shoes.. You’ll fall the first step
    you gotta keep your sense of humor.. .you gotta
    be able to s m i l e through all the b u l l s h i t
    The girl
    Looks in the mirror
    What she sees is not to her taste
    I hate the size of my waist
    My thighs are to big
    My stomach is to fat
    My eyes are too brown
    My hair is to icky
    My arms to lose
    And legs to round
    Feet are gigantic
    And I'm too tall
    She's not beautiful in her mind;
    no not at all
    she can't see her inner beauty;
    so her self esteem is to low
    she cant see how she looks to others
    no she just doesn’t know
    I know I’m made of mistakes, disappointments, and failures.
    but I promise you that there is a part of me that is actually worth
    keeping.
    Your perfect little girl dropped a grade on her report card.
    Your perfect little girl yelled at you last night.
    Your perfect little girl talked back to you again.
    Your perfect little girl painted her nails black.
    Your perfect little girl lied to you all her life.
    Your perfect little girl cries herself to sleep.
    Your perfect little girl used to slit her wrists 'till she bled.
    Your perfect little girl dated before sixteen.
    Your perfect little girl was broken by a boy.
    Your perfect little girl doesn't go to church.
    Your perfect little girl hates you.
    Your perfect little girl has given up on life.
    Your perfect little girl had a tantrum today.
    Your perfect little girl wants to run away.
    Your perfect little girl has no real friends.
    Your perfect little girl thinks she's overweight.
    Your perfect little girl hasn't let you dry her tears.
    Your perfect little girl disobeys you.
    Your perfect little girl hates the world.
    Your perfect little girl is hated by the world.
    Your perfect little girl says bad things about you.
    Your perfect little girl is very unhappy.
    Your perfect little girl tried to commit suicide.
    Your perfect little girl has become a disgrace.
    Your perfect little girl....isn't so perfect anymore
    What is depression really? Is there one concrete definition, or has the meaning loosened as our generation has continued it's downhill descent? To me, depression is simply my life. I'm not suicidal. I'm not a cutter. I don't hate the world. I don't dress completely in black. I'm just sad. I've been sad for what feels like my entire life, but that's not true. I was happy once and I can vaguely remember what it felt like, but I can't touch it. I can't get that happiness back, I don't know how. That's what depression is to me, knowing what happiness is, but never being able to touch it, to feel it.- Jenny Leigh
    the girl who always looks sad but claims she’s fine.
    the girl who puts sad away messages up everyday.
    the girl who when she sees you, smiles a half a smile.
    the girl who always has time to listen to you vent and is willing to give her opinion to help you in anyway that she can.
    the girl who cares about helping everyone but herself.
    the girl who cries every night before she goes to sleep.
    I want a day to go by
    When I’m not trying to be happy
    They say she's strong but they can't see the things she never shows, so alone she dies a little more everyday... making sure nobody knows, they say she's stronger than any girl should be but maybe she's just better at pretending than you.
    i'm tired of smiling when i'm sad
    i'm tired of laughing when i'm mad
    i'm tired of hiding the real me; but i'm
    too scared of what others will see
    Another poem, another line, another girl pretending she's fine,
    Another hour, another day, she wishes she could get away, Another heartbreak, another tear, another excuse she doesn't wanna hear
    Another paper, another pen, she writes she wants to be strong again,
    Another story, another lie, another night that she will cry,
    Another band, another song, another days passed, slowly gone,
    Another scream, another doubt, ''Kick me while I'm down'' to him she'd shout
    Another forced smile, another broken heart, Just another girl wishing life would restart...
    "I'm never going to show you how broken I am inside. I am never going to show you how I need you in my life. You'll never hear me say that I miss you or find out that you're the reason that I cry. You'll never catch me.. because you'll never see me fall. I'm just going to keep everything inside and smile through all the pain.. and even though I'm breaking down I'll always manage to stay sane. I'll never show you what you want to see. I'm never going to let you see through me."
    she's losing faith in what she knows.
    hates her music;; hates all of her clothes.
    thinks of surgery & a new nose.
    every calorie is a war.
    she wishes god would give her some answers
    & make her feel beautiful.
    and she whispers into the mirror as she wipes the running
    eyeliner from her eyes.. »im so stupid«
    Do you know what it feels like to hate yourself?
    Do you know what it feels like to wish you were dead?
    Do you know what it feels like to hate your world?
    I do..& it's eating me up inside.
    Welcome to a world where everyone talks about each other.
    Everyone lies. Everyone tries to be something they're not.
    Nobody can keep a secret for their life & friendships that
    have lasted years are broken. Believe it or not, this world
    actually exists. it goes by the name of high school

    I'm so sick of immaturity, of name calling, of labels, of gossip..of middle school.
    It doesn't make sense any more. & I find myself being nice to people that I want to strangle.

    MIDDLE SCHOOL = DRAMA TO THE 10TH POWER . . SQUARED
    have you ever been so low?
    ever had a friend let you down so,
    when the truth came out,
    were you the last to know?
    My parents keep asking how school was. It's like saying. "how was that drive-by shooting?" You don't care how it was, you're lucky to get out alive
    If we go to school to learn, and knowledge is power and power is corrupt and corruption is crime and crime doesn't pay then why the hell do we go to school?!
    Recipe for drama: 1 cup of gossip, 1/4 tabblespoon of rumors, and a dash of jelousy.
    Yeah, you talk smack. behind my back.
    Why don’t cha just cut to the chase..
    & say it to my face.

    Gossip & Rumors.
    is just made up s**t.
    so don't believe what you've heard.
    or she'll have a fit
    Middle School is one big soap opera. Everyone is gossiping
    about everyone else & at the end of the day, you wonder
    what's going to happen tomorrow
    the dirty looks
    the mean stares
    the best part about it
    is you think I care
    Jr. High is simply survival training for anything else life dishes out. you survived it so your ready for anything
    Remember that game telephone? The one where someone would say something, and by the end it was something totally different? Welcome to high school....
    Look at all the little girls
    trying to be Beautiful
    because if your anything else
    you wont survive
    I hate all the mushy love quotes. I hate the couples walking down the hallways of school. I hate the love songs, and love letters, and girls who cry when their boyfriend is out of school for the day. It's high school, for goodness sake! The couples won't last, and the songs won't stay popular. You'll forget the quotes, and lose the letters. You don't go to high school to find your husband, you go to find your bridesmaids.- lyssa

    If we go to school to learn, and knowledge is power and power is corrupt and corruption is crime and crime doesn't pay then why the hell do we go to school?!
    Just because someone tells you that you can't do something doesn't mean you have to listen.
    Somewhere between the procrastination... and the homework... and the incessant forwards... and the friendships... and the calls to each other complaining about crushes... Somewhere between the phone calls to old friends... And the "I miss yours, the "I love yours, and the "What are we doing tonight?"s...And somewhere between all of the changing and growing... Somewhere between the classes... And the skipping classes... And the studying for tests... And the pretending to study for tests... And the downright NOT studying for tests... I forgot... I forgot what high school is all about. I forgot what it meant to cry... I forgot that pretending to be happy doesn't make you happy... And that pretending to be smart doesn't make you smart... I forgot that you can't just forget the past in fear of the future... I forgot that you can't control falling in love... And that you can't make yourself fall in love... I learned that I can love... I learned that it's okay to mess up... And it's okay to ask for help... And it's okay to feel like crap... I learned it's okay to complain and whine to all your friends for a whole day... I learned that sometimes the things you want most you just can't have. I learned that the greatest thing about high school isn't the parties or the drinking or the hook-ups... It's the friendships, which means taking chances... I learned that sometimes the things we want to forget are the things which we most need to talk about... I learned that letters from friends are the most important things... And that sending cards to your friends makes you feel better. But, basically, I just learned that my friends... Both old and new... Are the most important people to me in the world. AND... without them, I wouldn't be who I am today. So this is a thank you to all of my friends... For always being there. And even if we're not on good terms or we have lost touch... I still care for you... Always and forever love all you guys



    What is depression really? Is there one concrete definition, or has the meaning loosened as our generation has continued it's downhill descent? To me, depression is simply my life. I'm not suicidal. I'm not a cutter. I don't hate the world. I don't dress completely in black. I'm just sad. I've been sad for what feels like my entire life, but that's not true. I was happy once and I can vaguely remember what it felt like, but I can't touch it. I can't get that happiness back, I don't know how. That's what depression is to me, knowing what happiness is, but never being able to touch it, to feel it.- Jenny Leigh
    They say she's strong but they can't see the things she never shows, so alone she dies a little more everyday... making sure nobody knows, they say she's stronger than any girl should be but maybe she's just better at pretending than you.
    i'm tired of smiling when i'm sad
    i'm tired of laughing when i'm mad
    i'm tired of hiding the real me; but i'm
    too scared of what others will see
    Another poem, another line, another girl pretending she's fine,
    Another hour, another day, she wishes she could get away, Another heartbreak, another tear, another excuse she doesn't wanna hear
    Another paper, another pen, she writes she wants to be strong again,
    Another story, another lie, another night that she will cry,
    Another band, another song, another days passed, slowly gone,
    Another scream, another doubt, ''Kick me while I'm down'' to him she'd shout
    Another forced smile, another broken heart, Just another girl wishing life would restart...
    "I'm never going to show you how broken I am inside. I am never going to show you how I need you in my life. You'll never hear me say that I miss you or find out that you're the reason that I cry. You'll never catch me.. because you'll never see me fall. I'm just going to keep everything inside and smile through all the pain.. and even though I'm breaking down I'll always manage to stay sane. I'll never show you what you want to see. I'm never going to let you see through me."

    She cuts herself. Never too deep, never enough to die. But enough to feel the pain. Enough to feel the scream inside.
    The lines I wear around my wrist are there to prove that I exist.
    a broken mirror a bleeding fist a silver blade against a wrist tears falling down to lips unkissed she's not the kind you'll come to miss

    Have you ever felt the need to slit your wrist,
    let all feelings of guilt and depression bleed out,
    then sew yourself up to be happy again?
    That's the problem with cutting. Once you start, you can't stop. It's addicting, cutting is my drug. It serves its purpose perfectly. Once I cut, I forget about everything that has been wrong. All that is left is my concentration on my cut. I forget about everything but the pain. Pain has become my world. --- ConcretAngel
    Close your eyes, and imagine 5, 10, 15 years from now. You are with your husband and maybe 2, 3 or so kids and your a very happy family, and very self-full-filled and your life is perfect just the way you had always dreamed and hoped, and then your little 5 year old child asks you: "mommy, why do you have all those white scars on your arm?" and then what will you say? I used to take a razor and pull it down real slow and carefully and watch the blood drop out of my skin so that I could see that I am still alive, or so I could feel real physical pain instead of emotional pain. No you can't say that to your child. and even if you do then your child will learn from you and do the same to themselves when ever they are feeling down. you don't really want that now do you.
    A Broken Mirror, A Bleeding Fist
    A silver Blade Against A Wrist
    Tears Falling Down To Lips Unkissed
    Ignore Her And She Won't Exist
    She's Not The Kind You'll Come To Miss
    "When will people understand that words can cut as sharply as any blade, and that those cuts leave scars upon our souls."
    I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
    Let's compare scars I'll tell you whose is worse
    Real cutters don’t cut for attention or for the pain, real cutters cut for the satisfaction of being in control something.
    "Rumors are vicious, talk is cheap, words are malicious, secrets you should keep. Gossip is fake, and I'll make the deepest cut, so learn from the past and keep your mouth shut."
    People who have physical scars hide them with clothing or a mask, those with emotional scars hide them with a smile or a laugh.
    "& she paints on that old [fake smile] & pretends everything is okay,*pretends* she never loved you & she doesn’t care, but in her mind she’s thinking 'if I could just have 1 more day I’d never let you go again' she looks down at her scared arm, 'love just isn’t worth it'"
    "I walked through the hallway holding my wrists, hoping no one will see me like this. He looks at me, scared what he'll find. He never thought I had these things in mind. He asks me, "...is there any more?" Looking at him with tears in my eyes I whisper a simple reply,...'ever wonder what bracelets were for'..?"
    "Everyone is sleeping while she remains awake and leaves reminders on her body of how much she hates herself."