Fallen Angel

• Artist: lu_larue
• Description: I post this in the writing forum too and in my friend's profile.
  I want to hear your comment about it. I don't mind if you don't like it. I'm still an amateur at this but I'll improve with your comments.
  
  Fallen angel is about a soul that lost its way.
  Peaceful is far from her reach.
  She was crying and hurt.
  But, still she kept it all in her heart.
  Until one day, she cannot hold herself and decided its time for her to go.
  The moment she tried to left, Hope comes to her.
  
  
• Date: 06/20/2009
• Tags: fallen angel

She was caught in the darkness,
with no one to help her.
Her voice was unheard,
though she screams as mighty as she can.
She has been swollen by the darkness.
She looks to the ground
and thought this is the place for her.
Before she could fall into it
Warmth touches her skin
She could feel that the Sun is calling her
She looks at it

Yes, there is hope
There is hope for this fallen angel

Comments

[ceresB]

Simple yet quite meaningfully!

[lu_larue]

ya, that's right. thanks for correcting me.

[Lilythana]

Nice image both visually and lyrically. Only one comment on grammar, in line 6, "these" should be "this" (or at least I believe that's what it should be, I could be wrong).