• DESCRIPTION:
    I'm a chronically depressed, schizophrenic 18 year old who's tired of saving others and just wants to be saved. I've donated my teenage years to helping others and for once I want to grab something and hold onto it, forever. Never letting go of them. Call me an Emokid, call me a nut case, call me a f** or a fool, a damned soul or a lost lover longing life, but whatever you do. Do me one favour, and know that behind this text, in front of this monitor their is a soul who once stood for justice and all that was right. Now I stand alone and for all my misery, I can't seem to find the way back to the lovely life I once led.





    Watching my maddening fall,
    I constantly wonder where it all went wrong.

    Was it the love I gave?
    The love I lost?
    All the hopes and dreams I had?
    All my fears and all the needs I had?

    Was my whole life just leading up to this?
    The climax of the movie and it just cuts to black?

    There I stood, ready for life.
    Heart in one hand and a sword in the other,
    I reached out and tried to bring those I cared for,


    Those I loved,
    Back from the blackened void of damnation.

    I chased them,
    fought for them,
    and in the end,

    I died for them.
    I gave it all for them.
    And they left me to rot.

    Surrounded by my own failures and my dark thoughts,
    out numbered to the bitter end.
    I readied myself for deaths loving embrace and charged,
    head long into a sea of maddening screams and taunting calls.

    Fighting every last thought and black soul I found.
    Cutting a bloody swathe through the darkness.

    And yet,
    I began to revel in the massacre.
    The madness, the bloody dreams, all of it.

    My wings turned to black and the halo above my head,
    tarnished and fell to the floor.

    I have fallen so far from grace that I seek out problems,
    not to solve,
    not to salve wounds,
    not to save souls.

    Like wheat to the scythe,
    they fall like I did.
    Yet this time,

    There is no angel to save us.