Angel

• Artist: LadyKrystine
• Description: A little thing written for a dear friend of mine while in math class. I tried to show my emotion through it and keep with a rhyme. Please be honest and fair with your votes and comments.
• Date: 12/12/2008
• Tags: angel love emotion

You've shown me hope,
You've shown me desire,
gave me a way to cope,
setting my soul on fire.
I'm so appreciative, it's true,
of everything you've helped me through.
No longer in the black, only the blue.
My words I write, it's all for you.
My guardian angel, but not real,
by my side I hope you stay.
I can't deny how I feel,
and strength, for this I pray.
One day I hope with what I confide,
You learn I want to be the one by your side.

Comments

[Cottoncandyocbra3]

Ah, longing for that, 'tis something I am familiar with. "No longer the black, only the blue" seems a bit forced and clunky. Not bad, it definitely could use some work, and perhaps a better word choice, but it is not bad. I also feel the last line is a little weak. 2.5/5.