Untitled

• Artist: Only Becca
• Description: One of my slightly older poems from about a month and a half ago.
  
  It is about realizations, and it always brings to my mind the phrase "You never know what you have until it's gone."
  
  Please comment, or else I will die from neglect. (Please CRITIQUE my work in your comments. Single word comments such as "kool" and "sux" do not tell me much.) Thank you.
  
• Date: 12/09/2008
• Tags: sadness teenage loss waking love

So many years I spent
Never truly seeing you
I was dead, and you did not know
My life was over, yet I was alive

My eyes so clouded
Guilt withering my soul
And you heroically bearing
The horrid brunt of it all

You gave me that look
Because you saw it in me;
The pain and the sorrow
And the potential as well

When I awoke
Like the dead made to walk
When I began to breathe
Through newly opened lungs
You were gone,
Whence I did not know
And so my resurrection's joy
Was not all-encompassing

Still today I mourn you
As you once mourned for me
I'm sorry that I wasn't there
To ease the pain of my own passing

If you ever come back,
If I see you again
I will hold you forever
My eternal best friend

Comments

[l Prince l]

I don't see anything wrong with her grammar. Its very beautiful and well written. I liked it.

[Nikki4815]

I really like it. 5/5. Rate back?

[Only Becca]

Fix the grammar so that it's easier to read? Understood. And thanks. ^^

[--MCBuhrakeit]

Its great and all its just like the grammar gets confusing -_-