the secret

• Artist: xem the friut
• Description: i made this up in on a bad day so read my other stuff for better
• Date: 12/07/2008
• Tags: secret

we have been going out for quite a while
and even though your cold as tile
ill let you in on a little secret
i love you, and u better keep it

Comments

[CaronSscott]

i think this is one of the most adorable things iv ever readits short and to the point 5/5!!

[vv7722]

Really sweet... Makes me wish I could get something like this from someone T.T
Great job

[jojs_97]

awwwww! that's soo CUTE!! wow!! and you made it up in 30 seconds!!

[Equinox Ghost]

Who cares what they say Xem, I like it. The point is well put, and I enjoyed reading it, short as it was. The fact that you made something like that in 30 seconds shows your lyrical strength.

One point of criticism though, if you wanted the rhyme to seem stronger, I'd recommend taking out the word "now" in the first line. And to 'Izzy72430,' punctuationand grammar are not tied to poetry or art in any way.

Keep up the good work Xem, 4/5.

[xem the friut]

thanks for teh constructive critisizem ppl -.- *goes emo*

[Really Rad]

-.-
What exactly does it mean?
1/5

[Gerard_Ray_Frank]

You should make it longer, fix the punctuation and capitalization, not admit in the description that you made it up so quick, and not waste gold on something like this.