What If

• Artist: Jenna894
• Description: another poem written yet again for the same person
  constructive critisizm
  enjoy=~
• Date: 12/07/2008
• Tags: love heartbroken hopless

What If i told you,
The stars shine for you,
What If i told you,
My heart beats for you,
What if I told you,
I breath for you,
What if i told you,
I cant tell you these things,
Im scared of you leaving me,
Even though you dont even know im here,
and that you're here,
You make my heart jump,
Then it falls and breaks,
But if you knew you did these things to me,
Id lose you

Comments

[Miyaka Hana]

Hmmm, not really very sure on what I think of this poem, it needs work, yes, very much true, but I kinda liked it, just remember to make the poem flow and sound more to the heart.

[kaylynamber1]

i don't like it

[LovelyPoetress]

i wrote poems like this in the fifth grade.
nice work.
you need to work on it though.