EYES OF A CHILD

• Artist: KoRrUpTeD iNnOcEnCe
• Description: POEM I DOMED(WROTE ON THE SPOT) FOR A POETRY TOPIC IN THE JAG&VON GUILD
• Date: 12/06/2008
• Tags: eyes child hate hell scream

LOST IN A NEVER ENDING DAYDDREAM
ABUSIVE HANDS AND A CHILDS SCREAMS
PAIN IS PLEASURE IN THE EYES OF THYSELVES
HEAVEN UNWANTED PRAYING FOR HELL
SAVING MY SOUL WOULD BE MURDERING MY FATE
KILL THE HYPOCRITES FEED OF THERE HATE
BATHE IN THE BLOOD OF UNBORN FLESH
MURDEROUS RAGE NEVER AT REST
BLOOSTLUST AND REVENGE BURNT INTO MY CORE
KEEP STABBING SLASHING CLAWING KILLING MORE MORE MORE
IN THE EYES OF THE CHILD YOUR END IS MY DREAM
HANDS OF DEATH I LAUGH AT YOUR SCREAM. . .

Comments

[Monokuro No Yume]

The... capitals... make it somewhat hard to read.
It jumps really quickly from topic to topic... And while every sentence is very strong in itself, I can't say I can quite follow the poem. I have trouble seeing a connection between one line and the next.
"Thyselves" sounds a little awkward there, like it's being used wrong. I'm not very familiar with word however, so it might just be me.
3/5. Very strong, but chaotic. More like just jotting down phrases that pop into someone's head then a poem.