Sexy Murder

• Artist: Plagueghoul
• Description: read it...thought it sound scary or perverted, its just funny...
• Date: 11/26/2008
• Tags: sexy murder

So they were in the midnight moonlight.
Knowing their desire of being wrong was a sin.
Their lips were getting closer and closer.
redface
she blush as his lover put his hand thought all her body.
The soft kiss of his lips in her skin.
heart
Their clothes fall to the floor.
eek
A sound is heard from behind.
wahmbulance
Somebody shoots a gun.
burning_eyes
Their bodies laid to the floor.
A bullet got thought both of their lungs!

twisted rofl SEXY MURDER! rofl twisted

- ninja Undrez Morte ninja

Comments

[XxAwesomeHannahxX]

Pretty good! Make others like that!

[Matthew Jason Foxx]

4/5 for good concept and creative delivery.
-1 for the bad delivery.

[Matthew Jason Foxx]

And, yes!! It is a sexy murder!! Now, if we/you can re-deliver it right... as in, more poetically... It might really be a sexy poem, too!!

And, sorry for going all English-class Nazi on your a**.

[Matthew Jason Foxx]

Their bodies laid to the floor. <<Try "fall to the floor"??>>
A bullet through both their lungs. <<"through" needed spelled properly, and it needed a bit of word-trimming for sexiness.>>

[Matthew Jason Foxx]

A sound is heard from behind. <<okay. That's okay, that's fine.>>

Somebody shoots a gun. <<Aw!! too coarse. Needs more poetic. Liiike: Behind them, a sound is heard.
An awful sound.
The bang from a gun.>>

[Matthew Jason Foxx]

The soft of his kiss in her skin. <<is the kiss really -in- her skin, or on it??>>
Their clothes fall to the floor. <<Oh,comon!! we want more visual than that!! Something visually stirring!! --I'm not gonna give it to you there.>>

[Matthew Jason Foxx]

blah-di-blah, all fine, good, good, good...
She <<capitalized>> blushed <<past tense!!>> as her<<needed proper gender>> put his hand throughout<<needed to finish the spelling>> her body. <<"all" is unnecessary>>