It seemed that life...

• Artist: Casca 7
• Description: tell me what you think. good or bad.
• Date: 07/16/2008
• Tags:

It seemed that life would never pass us by.
What I would give for only one more day...
I would have never dreamed the morning light
Would come only to take my heart away.
We once danced by the lake on our bare feet,
And watched the fish and ducks come up for bread.
We spent our summer days out climbing trees.
At night I heard you echo through my head.
Yet never once had I stolen a kiss,
And never once had you taken my hand,
But I kept hoping that I would not miss
A whisper saying "Come my lovely and
I will make the stars to shine for you.
You ne'er need cry for I will hold you near,
And though the morning light may break us through
With all my love it ne'er will interfer."
Now I'm left with so much more to say,
But still the sunlight carries you away.

Comments

[Master Archie]

wow wow wow

[UC Poika]

I thought it was good the other must be something really special.

[Cottoncandyocbra3]

I didn't enjoy this one as much as your other poem, but for the subject matter it sounds unforced and genuine. Not too shabby. You should post more work. 3.25/5. (Whole numbers are overrated)

[muscular killing pie]

HI casca I like it!!!

[Casca 7]

where doesn't it rhyme? a couple have different ending consonants, but they still rhyme. and that was a typo. oops.
yeah, but i wrote it in like 10 min. >_< oh, well...

[Courgette]

Ok, read the second comment first, then the second, gaia cut me off sad

[Courgette]

Did you mean "interfere" or is interfer a word my spell check doesn't know?
Also, what was your intent with switching from a loose to non-rhyming scheme in the beginning lines to a solid ababcdcdee rhyming scheme in the second half? Is it tied with the feeling of the poem, or did you just not get into rhythm until that second half? Which is particularly nice, by the way.