• I think there is a special place where exceptionally dumb people go when they die. It's not Heaven, Hell, Limbo, or Purgatory. Those places are reserved for people who have the ability to rationally and lucidly think before they act and/or speak! I'm talking about the REALLY dumb people (we all know at least one) who, no matter how many times you tell them something, or how hard you try to help them, you soon realize that you would have better luck training your pet rock to jump through a flaming hoop. But, they're people too, with feelings and emotions just like us, though we can't be expected to put up with them all our lives, just to be trapped with them into the Hereafter, so they have to go somewhere, right?



    You're probably wondering right about now "Well, where do they go then?" I can tell you where they go! Remember the Teletubbies? Yea, I know, who could forget such brainless dribble?! It's the place where the Teletubbies live! Makes perfect sense if you think about it; pretty colors, soft little bunnies bouncing all over the place, nothing sharp to get hurt with, the sun is a happy, giggling infant, and there's a pleasant voice that calls out telling them what to do, making everything easy and painless. A wondrous, happy place, where books only have pictures, and intelligent conversation doesn't exist!



    Now, if you're reading this, and you're not quite sure if you're that dumb, but that's where you want to go when you die, all you have to do is take a fresh #2 pencil, jam it as far up your nose as it will go, and give it a good wiggle. Do this until you lose all sense of reality, and can no longer control any bodily function. However, if you're already that dumb, but want to become more intelligent, a regular pair of jumper cables, when applied at one end to a car battery and the other to your temples, should do the trick!