redface redface I think he have this issue where he can't separate being told that he's done something that is racist from being told that he is a racist. And I do believe these are two different things.
On the other hand, the use of a racial epithet that is KNOWN to be a racial epithet is a case where someone is consciously and deliberately choosing racism. I don't know if I would be kind enough to say this guy that I know is just DOING something racist. Because that is an obvious choice-- it's not like this person is one of those seventy year old ladies who means well but still says "colored" because she never got the memo.
I am not saying that ignorant racism is even remotely okay or that it doesn't need to be called out-- it does, and ignorant or aversive racism among people who consider themselves liberal can be really disgusting. I am saying that if someone is deliberately and overtly choosing to partake in a racist act, then he**, yes, they're a racist. There isn't any grey area.
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