• I was merely still a kid when the worst thing ever come to pass. I’ve joined a gang before it happen, I thought that I would have fit in, but I was wrong. The gang tortured me by telling me what to do. I refused the job offer about three times, till that one day they told me “If I don’t kill a close family member of mine, they would kick me out of the gang and do things to me that’ll make anybodies heart drop to the floor”. That sentence lingered through my head like a dead scent; the things they were going to do to me were beat me till the pain was too much to handle after that they’ll shoot me to end my life. As I thought about what they would do to me if I refused the job offer once more, I knew I couldn’t my life in danger. I had to figure out a way to refuse and not risk my life.

    Our gang boss approached me one day and said to me “Seth! I need to know the answer now”. I looked at him with fear behind my eyes, but I don’t let him see the fear. His over-toned body was big enough to put a muscular man to shame, his thick Kentucky accent was thicker than thick could get, and his breathe stunk like a decaying corpse rotting in garbage. No one ever dared to face him in a game of Russian roulette. I took a deep breathe and said “Can I have a few more days to think about who I want to kill?”
    He stared at me with a death stare and said “fine! I’ll give you three days to make your mind up on who you want to kill, but anyways Seth good job on deciding to accept the job!”
    I smiled knowing that they weren’t going to kill me. I got up from the wooden chair which I had sat upon hanging out with the rest of the gang, and I walked home. As I walked into the house my mother came up to me and gave me a hug “how are your friends doing?” she asked a non-heart breaking question.

    I have never told my mother that the gang I was in were bad news, I rested my hands on her shoulders and gave her a kiss on the forehead “their fine mom, they want me to a special job for them” I replied back to her without her knowing that I was lying to her. My mom smiled and said “what job is it dear?”
    I looked at her; I had a lump in my throat that was blocking my answer. I knew I had to tell her, but I didn’t want to “oh mom it’s nothing to worry about just a simple good deed!” that was my answer I’d lied again. I walked into my room that I was sharing with my older brother who was a year older than me; you could say that my brother and I were best friends. My father had yelled from the kitchen saying “supper is ready we are having enchiladas”
    I looked up from reading a book, and bolted downstairs to grab a plate and I took it to my room. I had munched them down leaving the empty plate next to me returning to my homework that my teacher assigned me. The next day as I was walking to the gang’s hideout after school I notice that the gang boss was sitting at his usual spot, he looked at me and grinned “so did you figure out who you want to kill?” he said.
    I looked at him “of course, I know the exact person who I’m going to kill” I sounded like a Mexican terrorist with my thick Mexican accent. He gave me a pistol and said “learn and study this pistol Seth because you’ll be using this gun to kill”. I took the pistol from his hand and looked at it. The cold steel pistol resting upon my hand made my heart drop to the pit of my stomach, but I couldn’t let that stop me I had to what I was told to do. My gang boss smiled and walked away, I put the pistol in my pocket and walked home.

    As soon as I got home my mom saw the lump in my pocket “what is that honey?” she pointed to my pocket. “Oh….that is uh nothing bad it’s just a box full of pens” I said shaking, but I quickly got rid of my tremors and gave my mom a kiss once again I lied like the rug in front of the door. My mom smiled “ok hun! Did you eat with your friends?”
    I nodded my head without a word, this time it wasn’t a lie I already ate with them. Once I was in my room I pulled the pistol out of my pocket and looked at it again “I don’t know now, my brother or my mother, which one” I thought to myself. I held the pistol up and sighed knowing if I don’t do this my life would be at risk. The pistol in my hand was shinning bright from my bedroom light. I concentrated on the pistol when there was a knock at the bedroom door; I quickly hid the pistol under my pillow “just a minute” I screamed as I quickly fixed everything up.

    I open the door and to my amazement it was my brother back home early from work, I looked at him and sighed “what are you doing here so early usually after school you head off to work then come home around 8:00pm”. He looked at me with eyes of a disappointed person “Seth! I just got laid off at my job; they hired a better mechanic to fix up my truck I was working on for a customer”. I looked at him and gave him a hug “aren’t they amazed on how young you are to be a good mechanic?” I said to him, but he just looked at me with those eyes and said “I guess their not amazed enough, look Seth I’m not in the mood to talk about it tight now. So please just don’t bring it up ok”. I nodded my head and went back to lie on my bed, the pillow was of course not comfy because of the pistol underneath.

    As time flied by like a 747 jet plane, I knew that my time was coming to an end. My dad came up to me and told me that “he was taking my brother somewhere special just the two of them”. I looked at him and shrugged as I held the pistol closer to my body which it stayed underneath my shirt. As my mom and I watched them pull out of the driveway, I looked towards my mom and gave her a kiss on the cheek “what is that for sweetie” she said with an innocent tone in her voice. “Oh just nothing, maybe to say I love you mom” I said as I cling to her like a baby then I let go of her so she can breathe. “Well I love you to Seth sweetie my amigo” she said. I walked away to my room as a tear rolled down my tanned cheek; I knew the time had to come for my job to be complete. I pulled the pistol out from underneath my shirt and walked out of my room and to my mother who was sitting on the couch watching her soaps the boring old soaps that’ll make an old person fall asleep.

    I loaded the pistol and pulled the hammer down, my mom turned and said “Hun….w…what are you doing? Why do you have a gun in your hand?”
    I looked at her and cried “I’m sorry mom, I’m sorry” I aimed the pistol at her head, my finger slowly pulling the trigger. My brother came in to grab something while dad was waiting in the car, “SETH! WHAT IN GOD’S NAME ARE YOU DOING?” he yelled as he ran towards me. I pulled the trigger before he could stop me, all was silent I had shot my mother and killed her. I fell to the ground crying, the tears rolled down my cheeks like a waterfall my brother came up to me and started to beat me up “why did you do this Seth? Why to mom?” he said with anger in his voice. I didn’t answer him; my brother picked me up by the neck and threw me out of the house. My stuff stayed in the house I could never get them back, my father looked at me and said “what happened?”
    My brother yelled at our dad “Seth killed mom”. My dad looked at me and began to yell at the top of his lungs; I couldn’t bear the yelling anymore the family had kicked me out of the house and they said to me “that I was never allowed back at the house again”.

    After that gruesome day I ended up in Juvenile, the first night was scary I cried as people started to beat on me like I was their punching bag, to me I deserved it. As soon as they let me out after I finished my time in Juvenile, I walked back to the house I have forgot that I don’t live with my family anymore. A car pulled up along side of me while I was walking, it was my gang boss “good job Seth” he said as I got into his car. I lived with my boss for a couple of years stealing weapons, food, and clothing from places. Killing was more along the line to my boss’s appeal, killing was his favorite thing. I couldn’t take anymore of the stealing and the constant killing. I refused to stay in the gang, so I left them. Now I live on the streets alone with a little bit of money to fend for my life knowing that the gang was going to kill me because I left them, not wanted in the family or anywhere else, I am alone. I celebrate my 15th birthday myself; the two wish I made were that I should have listen to myself, and that I had not joined that gang. My name is Seth I am 15 years old, no family, and only a memory of the unforgettable day I instantly regret. The scars and bruises on my body are things that can heal, but there is one scar in my body that can not heal that scar is the death of my mother that I started myself which burned into my heart.