• I always ask myself what did I do to deserve this. I'm sick of him putting me down, making me feel weak. Making me feel like I don't matter. Am I that messed up he can't say a word to me. I must be hideous.
    I think my friends are starting to see through my fake smiles. They can see the tears that go unshed. All the pain in my eyes that builds up inside. One of my friends must be an angel she does whatever it takes to make me smile no matter what. I could tell her to stop then stalk off leaving her. But she'd be back 5 minutes later making me laugh until I almost cry. I may have known her for a short time but she is one of the best friends I've ever had.
    My two friends who are like sisters told me to let him go. I tried I really did. But letting go has never been easy for me, even though it doesn't show. Just one song ,one word, their name just sends me back. The feelings come out of hiding, the feelings that never seem to leave me alone. The feelings of love never felt so bad.
    My thoughts just seem to turns into words. My deepest thoughts on paper. I write until he snatches the book from my hands and laughs and tells me how weak I am. He tells me how vulnerable. He throws it out on the ground laughing at me. I can't be perfect you know. I really can't no matter what you think. No matter what anybody thinks I have flaws and one of them is loving him.