• The day passed and the evening was almost at its end. I could see stars in the sky through the bathroom's window. I draw water for the bath. I need to relax, to refresh myself after this long day. I haven't closed the door of memories yet, but the time is near. I don't have much to remember. But this part is really painfull to me. I know i can stop anytime, it is my own choice to keep going. As i dip in the water, i do the same with memories...

    A year passed since i met your father's old friend. Slowly but surely, you changed back to your true self. Your smile wasn't as big and didnt appear as often as before, but this was a relief for me. I feared the worst while you went through that phase of yours. Since the day of our meeting and our entrance to the colledge, many years went by. My love for you is still genuine, still there. But i can never tell you. Shyness? Scared of rejection? Probably. But i was happy with you, that's what's important isn't it?
    Since you took philosophy as your main course, i decided to join you. Not that i really liked the subject, but because i could see you on a new day. From a side i didn't know. At first, i wasn't taking active role in the classroom, but you were another story. Your mouth would never shut. So much the teacher asked you if you wanted to stand in front of the class and take his place. All with a friendly laugh.
    At that time, you also started studying to get your driving license. You bought a car, your plates. You started working in a nearby shop. Sometime i think you're from a 60's movie. It's so cliché it's irreal.
    At the end of the year, you came to me and told me you'd pick me up whenever i liked. My personnal driver? So funny, yet i didn't see the allusions.

    Two years of studies, we now enter our last year here. Though i still have no idea what to do in the near future. I don't have any real job, i don't have a career plan. I'm behind the huge wall of reality. A wall with your name written on it. Sure, i work at a cafe, small stuff for a small person like me. or like you used to say, a fairy need a fairytale.

    One night you came to my place. It was sudden, but i had nothing else to do. I sat next to you in your car, ready for whatever adventure yu had prepared for that night. Diner at a nice restaurant, a movie then we went back into being teenagers and stopped by the spot near the forest. Just to watch the stars. If i had known at that time, i would've come out and said "I love you". I would've taken you into my arms never to let you go. But i'm not sure if anything would be different. I believe you had your mind set on something...

    The next day, my heart shattered into pieces. I woke with a phone call. It was your mother. She seemed worried about something. She asked me if i saw you. The moment i tell her i last saw you late at night, that i was WITH you, my heart warned me. I refused to hear the warning and asked "why?"
    She told me you never went back home. That it's been five days and they were supposed to meet. I said not to worry too much since i was with you until late at night. I hanged the phone only to dial a friend's number right away.
    Like that, two more day passed. No one in town knew your whereabout. You told some friend you were going abroad for studies. you havent told anything to your family... And you spent hours with me right before totaly vanishing.

    On the fourth day, i went to that old man' place. I knocked but no one answered. i noticed the door was open so i follow the step you once showed me. I entered the room, his chamber. He was there, his wife at his side. I sat down next to them and took the man's hand. Inside, i write my question.
    "Do you know where he might be? if it is you, he should've told you something"
    The man sighed. He then said something i couldn't quite understand. His exact word were :
    "When one you seek is no longer home, you need to ask yourself where is home. The sweetness of love can be as bitter as hatred. I promised not to tell, but since it's you, i don't think he'll mind. He went where he couldn't, he climbed where the world would have meaning, he sought the jewel which can't exist without being two. For one last time, he will travel a road of gold... I'm sorry miss, you'll need to figure this by yourself."

    Perplexed by his words, confused, i walk home...

    From this time on, i never saw you again. Not a word in the newspaper, no news from your parents. You didn't die but you disappeared.

    Even today, i still don't know where you are. Your name never shown up in the registry of any university i could search. But wherever you might be. I'd like you to know...

    I love you.