• Times flash by for most during these years, as it did for me, the time in your life between following groups around and learning to using that knowledge for yourself. I was young and naive those years, believing in anything anyone told me as truth. The summer of 02 found me working with my dad on fixing the house in Selah Washington, working hard to gain some money for gas as i didn't have a job for i was to shy. I hated walking up to stranger and talking, which i still have that bad habit there.

    The first job it tried for was a few years back, i was a freshman in high school and saw a posting for a receptionist, so i applied. The moment they called my name i got in the door and sat at a chair but basically froze, i couldn't use words in a comprehendable sentence and was scared out of my wits. What was i doing? Why was i here? Speak some words before this turns out worse! That last part was a flashback of my mother telling me to meet my new teacher in elementary school, so many years yet nothing changed, i still was scared out of my mind to converse to strangers, whoever they were.

    That one turned out bad for about halfway through I ran out of the room tears brimming my sight again, heading to the local park to blow some steam and think about it, i knew i would need to be on my own, yet i keep messing up, so how was i going to be, how should i put it? Independent. After that and sulking in my bedroom or at school with a mind distracted, the high school years had no other job attempts, i was insecure and looked upon with disgust from others but my mom and dad, who felt for me and blamed themselves for not raising me different.

    In sophomore year i came up with a idea to find a way to talk to others, a after school activity. The problem with that was i was the tall lanky unpopular kid in the back with no devotion or sport ability. Making friends was doing well enough. Of the years before high school, i made three maybe four, my calling came not in sporting ability but in science. Yea that's right, the nerd or geek classes that i could barely get a C or C+ in, in my dreams! I would think this in my head and fume again. Those years were great but short lived. Watching other divide and conquer there fears and obstacles in the way while the sub that never got put in watches, waits for the opportunity to strike and show his skill that never comes.