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The Three Little Politically Correct Pigs<br />
exerpt from J.F.Garner's book "Politically Correct Bedtime Stories."<br />
<br />
<br />
Once there were three little pigs who lived together in mutual respect<br />
and in harmony with their environment. Using materials that were <br />
indigenous to the area, they each built a beautiful house. One pig built<br />
a house of straw, one a house of sticks, and one a house of dung, clay, <br />
and creeper vines shaped into bricks and baked in a small kiln. When they <br />
were finished, the pigs were satisfied with their work and settled back to <br />
live in peace and self-determination.<br />
<br />
But their idyll was soon shattered. One day, along came a big, bad wolf<br />
with expansionist ideas. He saw the pigs and grew very hungry, in both <br />
the physical nad ideological sense. When the pigs saw the wolf, they ran <br />
into the house of straw. The wolf ran up to the house and banged on the <br />
door, shouting, "Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!"<br />
<br />
The pigs shouted back, "Your gunboat tactics hold no fear for pigs<br />
defending their homes and culture."<br />
<br />
But the wolf wasn't to be denied what he thought was his manifest destiny.<br />
So he huffed and he puffed and he blew down the house of straw. The <br />
frightened pigs ran to the house of sticks, with the wolf in hot pursuit. <br />
Where the house of straw had stood, other wolves bought up the land and <br />
started a banana plantation. At the house of sticks, the wolf again <br />
banged on the door and shouted,<br />
<br />
"Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!"<br />
<br />
The pigs shouted, "Go to hell, you carnivourous, imperialistic oppressor!"<br />
<br />
At this, the wolf chuckled condescendingly. He thought to himself:<br />
"They are so childlike in their ways. It will be a shame to see them go,<br />
but progress cannot be stopped."<br />
<br />
So the wolf huffed and puffed and blew down the house of sticks.<br />
The pigs ran to the house of bricks, with the wolf close at their heels.<br />
Where the house of sticks had stood, other wolves built a time-share condo<br />
resort complex for vacationing wolves, with each unit a fiberglass<br />
reconstruction of the house of sticks, as well as native curio shops,<br />
snorkeling, and dolphin shows.<br />
<br />
At the house of bricks, the wolf again banged on the door and shouted,<br />
"Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!"<br />
<br />
This time in respnse, the pigs sang songs of solidarity and wrote<br />
letters of protest to the United Nations.<br />
<br />
By now the wolf was getting angry at the pigs' refusal to see the situation <br />
from the carnivore's point of view. So he huffed and he puffed, and huffed <br />
and puffed, the grabbed his chest and fell over dead of a massive heart <br />
attack brought on from eating too many fatty foods.<br />
<br />
The three little pigs rejoiced that justice had triumphed and did a little <br />
dance around the corpse of the wolf. Their next step was to liberate <br />
their homeland. They gathered together a band of other pigs who had been<br />
forced off their lands. Their new brigade of porcinistas attacked the <br />
resort complex with machine guns and rocket launchers and slaughtered the <br />
cruel wolf opressors, sending a clear signal to the rest of the hemisphere <br />
not to meddle in their internal affairs. Then the pigs set up a model <br />
socialist democracy with free education, universal health care, and <br />
affordable housing for everyone.<br />
<br />
<br />
Please Note: The wolf in this story was a metaphorical construct. No <br />
actual wolves were harmed in the writing of the story.<br />
<br />
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I love this
poem, it's
one of my
favs.I hope u
like it too. - SOLITUDE
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I like white
roses. ^^ - White rose
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Comments (2 Comments)
- Tokishen K - 09/27/2010
- Love you and you have awsome avatar custems
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- ii_XCloudyRainX_ii - 03/02/2010
- u suck!!
- Report As Spam