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I hear them
I hear them
Whistling ever so gently
Listen to me
Listen to me
Knowing my wish might come true
I still wait
I still wait
Wanting to see you
Will it start?
Will it start?
Can the snow fall here just once?
Bells ring
Bells ring
I hear that jingling in the air
Wishes pass
Wishes pass
Notes are lost and read
Presents are opened
Presents are opened
Disappointment rings in the air
- by tinkr-tailr-sldr-spy |
- Holiday Poem Contest
- | Submitted on 12/12/2008 |
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Comments (6 Comments)
- -ampnesz- - 03/03/2009
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nice work
nice work
but...
I agree with them...
hehe
hehe - Report As Spam
- The Bright One - 02/11/2009
- Repetition is a pretty cool tool in the way of poetry, but it must be used sparingly. I'd also suggest that if you repeat lines right after each other than you make them short so it doesn't smack the poem's rhythm upside the head.
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- Taken Raizen - 02/09/2009
- GOOD POEM ! but i hate the reprtition in the POEM ! like the I hear them I hear them ! bla bla bla ! that makes the poem i Little bit boring !
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- swadashin - 12/22/2008
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good though some lines are written 2x
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- x_Mr Snowman_x - 12/18/2008
- i agree overall the poem is OK but the repetition just kills it.
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- hilalowe - 12/17/2008
- to repetitive... it worked fore the beginning but it gut ,,.,,
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